Why am I the One?

Chapter 4 - All Work and Some Play

Nate came over to Ryder's apartment around noon to help out with her writing. Ryder was a little nervous. It had been a long time since she had spent time alone with Nate. Her heart started to race when she answered the door. 

"Hey, thanks so much for coming over!" She opened the door to let him in. 

"No problem! I'm here to help if you need it." He said. 

"Well have a seat. Do you want anything? I have water or pop or anything I guess." She laughed nervously. 

"Water is fine." He said, sitting on the couch. Ryder smiled and walked into the kitchen to get him the water. She couldn't believe how good he looked today. His hair was freshly cut, he had on the skinny jeans that looked the best on him, and a sweatshirt that hung loosely on him. He even had his sunglasses on, the black Ray Bans he always wore. It was going to be hard to focus today.

They worked for a couple hours and Nate really helped her. Now they were talking about old times on tour. 

"Look, getting back to business, you know what you're doing and you're good at what you do. Don't let your self confidence get you down. Blow the crowd away." Nate said smiling. 

"Thanks Nate, that means a lot to me." She said smiling. 

"I'm gonna head out." He said, standing up. "I'm not even finished packing yet." He said laughing. Ryder's heart melted, seeing him smile a REAL smile. They were rare these days.

"Well I appreciate all the help!" She said, putting her guitar down and standing up. "Thanks again." 

"I'm always here." He said walking to the door. 

Ryder wished he could stay a little longer but walked him to the door. "See you in a couple days?" She asked.

"Cant wait." He said. "See ya!" He left and she sighed as she watched him leave. She walked into her room, sat on the bed and decided to look through that old shoe box some more. Inside, buried under notes, she found a stack of photos. They were from the first tour she had ever gone on. The one on top, a photo of Nate, took her back to the moment it had been taken.

It was the summer of 2007. Ryder had just finished high school and her parents agreed to let her spend the summer on tour with her brother. She had to admit, even though she was super excited, she was also extremely nervous. She had found out that Andrew's band was touring with The Format and she almost cried. It was her favorite band. She loved them so much she wore one of their shirts in her senior photos and even performed "Give it Up" at her school's talent show. She had been to a show before, but to actually be on the road with them was completely different.

All the guys were hanging out, playing a game of basketball, and Ryder hung out on the side, snapping photos of them. Nate walked over to her, and all the thoughts and words left her.

"Hey, getting some good shots?" He asked, sitting next to her. 

"Um, I think." She said softly. 

He smiled, the smile that made her go crazy over him from the start. "I'm sure they are great." He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and took one out for himself. He offered her one. She shook her head nervously and smiled, she knew it had to be the dumbest smile ever, but the ability to act normal had vanished. "Can I see your camera?" He asked as he lit up his cigarette.

"Sure." She smiled and handed it to him. He looked it over for a minute. It was an old film camera, really nice in quality for it's age. He looked it over and played around with some of the buttons on it. He held it up and took a photo of himself. He handed it back to her.

"I hope it still works. My face may have damaged it!" He said laughing. "Let me know how it turns out. Let me know how all of them turn out." He said.

"I will." She said smiling.

"I'm Nate." He said.

"I know." She said it and then realized how stupid she sounded. "I mean, I'm Ryder. And I know who you are. I'm a big fan." She said, blushing slightly from the embarassment of admitting she was a fangirl. 

"Well I'm a fan of your photos." He said smiling. "I'll see you around Ryder." He said standing up and smiling at her.

Ryder sighed and put the photo back in the shoebox. It was hard to believe that they had spent so much time together after that. They'd had so many good times together. He cared about her so much and she loved being with him.

And then three little words happened. "I love you." 

After an amazingly romantic night, after they had finished making love, he whispered it softly in her ear for the first time. Ryder freaked out. She had never been loved before. The idea that someone could love her. Someone could feel so strongly for her, terrified her. So in the morning she left. Now fast forward to today. They were split up, and she was left wondering if it was a mistake. If instead of leaving him all alone, she should have said it back. 

She loved him. She could feel it in her heart that she did. She had that scared feeling too, but the love inside her was overwhelming. She sighed and packed up the box.

Maybe it was just the memories getting to her.