Why am I the One?

Chapter 7 - Return to Me

Ryder woke up and was back on the bus, they were moving which meant they were in a hurry to get to the next city. She was in the back of the bus on the couch. She couldn't tell what she was laying on, so she rolled over and realized it was Nate. He must have brought her back on the bus and laid with her, taking care of her. Now he sat up on the couch, asleep, her head on his lap, probably to keep an eye on her fever. She smiled at him. She couldnt believe he was being so nice to her. It made her want to tell him how she really felt, but in all honesty, she was scared. She was scared that he wouldn't want her back. That maybe the only reason he was being nice to her at all was because he was just a good person. She sat up and Nate woke up suddenly. He looked over at her, concerned.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling." He asked.

"I'm still feeling terrible, but the room isnt spinning anymore." She said. She gave him a half smile.

"You're fever was bad. You really should consider taking tomorrow off if you aren't better." Nate said.

"I will. I promise." She said softly. "You were taking care of me?" She asked.

"Yeah. I borught you back to the bus after our set and laid with you for a while. You were getting really warm so I put a washcloth on your head to cool you down. You've been asleep ever since. I probably dozed off an hour or two ago." He said stretching.

"Why are you doing this?" She looked down at the floor. She wasn't sure if she was ready for his answer.

"Why wouldn't I do this?"

"Because I'm the girl who broke your heart. I'm the girl who made you sad." She said softly.

"I told you I loved you, Ryder. I meant it. Just because you don't love me back, doesn't mean I stop feeling this way. I care about you. I will always care about you. And I will always be in love with you."

Ryder looked up at him, it looked like he was fighting tears

"I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me the past few months. Even after everything that has happened in our past." She was chickening out. She couldn't do it. She couldn't say the words. Even though he had just confirmed that he did love her, she couldn't do it. "I appreciate all that you do, but please don't feel like you have to do it."

"It's not something I feel like I HAVE to do, Ryder. It's something that I want to do." He said. "I'm sorry. Maybe I am crossing a line." He stood up.

"Nate, you're not." She said.

"Yes I am. I am that guy who can't get over his ex so he bends over backwards for her. He would lasso the moon and pull it down for her if she asked him to, just hoping that maybe she will return to him and he can have her again. That's who I am and it is absolutely pathetic." He said. "I need to stop. I need to move on."

"No you don't Nate!" She stood up quickly. "You don't have to move on."

"Is there something you want to tell me?" He asked. Her eyes crashed to the floor. She couldn't look at him. This was too much. He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up, forcing her to make eye contact with him. His eyes stared deep into hers, desperately searching for something, a hint that there was still a chance for them. That somewhere, hidden deep inside was the love he wished she would share with him. She bit her lip and remained silent. She still couldn't say it. Nate pulled his hand away from her face, a look of defeat fell over him. "Well. That pretty much says it all." Ryder watched as he lost the battle with his emotions and his eyes filled with tears. 

"Nate please...dont-"

"I'm going to move on. I'm going to leave you alone, and move on. It's time." He said. He walked to his bunk.

Why was it so hard for her. Why couldn't se say the words that haunted her ever day. She felt it in hear heart, but she couldn't say it and it killed her inside. She sat down on the couch and started to get teary eyed herself.

This could have been her last chance to say the words and she had blew it. She had no idea if she would have another chance.