Rising Stars [H.S]

51.

ladies and gents, the moment most (some didn't catch on) of you have been waiting for... i linked the grammys performance of this song because this version is how i imagine olivia singing it. also, there will be some minor changes in the lyrics but most will be the same :)

if you don't usually listen to the songs when an author suggests you do, i'm literally down on my knees asking you to listen to this song when it's played in the chapter. it suits the story very well and is most definitely one of the best breakup songs ever :)

song: all too well by taylor swift
play when you see the **

"...too well" I whisper the last lyric of the song that I have been working on since two in the morning.

After I unpacked the box Harry gave me after our big fight in the driveway, I got to the point where I didn't even have the energy to cry anymore. My eyes burned from the tears and my head ached from the sobs. Every part of me
was hurting, physically and emotionally. I was all over exhausted, but I knew I had to keep my head up.

I fell asleep at about eleven, just laying in bed staring at the ceiling. My head kept replaying everything that happened. The yelling, the storming off, the letter. I kept re-reading that letter over and over again, trying to understand it. I couldn't though. It was written as if he still cared about me and as if he didn't want to do what he was doing, but then he comes over and tells me he doesn't give a shit anymore.

I don't understand why he was so mad that the boys were here. It's not like I'm going to date any of them, but what's the problem if I do? He was seeing someone while we were spending time together, so what's the problem if I am with someone? It was all exhausting to think about.

I slept until two in the morning when I woke up suddenly. I probably spent thirty minutes trying to fall asleep, but couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I'm going to have to go to the studio today with Harry.

I don't know how we're still going to be able to work together. I cant even look at him without wanting to cry, yell and hide. It was embarrassing being around him, letting him see this side of me thats so heartbroken when I know he doesn't care.

So, I did the only thing I know how to do, and I wrote a song.

It's one of the longest songs I've ever written, full of venting and just lashing out on the guitar. I've spent hours on it, rewriting phrases, changing the words, trying to figure out my emotions by putting them to music. I'm not usually ones for acoustic songs, but this one just came right to me. All of the events with Harry, all of the emotions I felt, all the betrayal; it's all in this song.

It's probably seven in the morning now, and I'm supposed to be at the studio at eight. I asked the boys to come with us today, so it wasn't just Harry and I. My mind has been going back and forth on deciding on if I should sing this in front of Harry.

People like me write songs because we're too scared of opening up to someone about our real feelings, so we disguise it with our music. This song doesn't even disguise it though, these lyrics are stripped right from my memories and my heart. They're truthful, and I know they're going to feel like a slap in the face to Harry.

Which is partially why I want to sing it in front of him. I want him to know what he lost. I want him to know that he broke my heart. Call me a bitch for that, I don't care. He put me through this, so he can deal with the repercussions.

I watch myself in the mirror as I brush my teeth, toothpaste falling into the sink. Once I finish I spit the rest out before turning the water on, letting it run down the sink. Everything I do now feels slugging and tiring, even brushing my fucking teeth.