Rising Stars [H.S]

15.

quick warning: this chapter does talk about anxiety, manipulation, and violence. just forewarning!
ALSO: the song above is This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory. I suggest playing it when you see the *
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"Right, here." I say, keeping my eyes glued to the map Harry drew out for us.

"Right or left?" He says, his eyes dancing between the map that was laid across the small dashboard of the car.

"Right!" I exclaim as we nearly miss the turn. Harry quickly turns the steering wheel to the right, causing the whole car to swerve, but luckily we made the sharp turn.

"You could've told me before we were two fucking feet away from the turn." He says as he brings his ring covered fingers up to his hair.

"I said right, here."

"No you said, 'right here'." He argues.

"Exactly."

"No, I thought you meant 'right here' like, 'here is where you turn, but I am not going to say which way yet'." He explains, making me furrow my eyebrows in annoyance.

"Well, sorry. We made the turn didn't we?"

"Barely." He scoffs, rolling his eyes in annoyance. I swear this man acts like a 10 year old half of the time.

It's been about two hours since our argument, and the only time we've talked is for me to tell him directions. I was still very angry at him— and at myself.

I allowed myself to be vulnerable in front of him, and I regretted it. He used my argument with Dylan against me, and I was furious about it. He may have had a good point about our relationship, but it wasn't his place to tell me what I should do in my relationship, especially when he claims he has never been in one.

It grows quiet in the car, with just the sound of the quiet music and the faint blowing of the wind. We had to put the convertible up so we could read the map Harry drew out without it blowing away.

I asked him why he wouldn't just use google maps, but he responded with a shrug and a sly smirk on his face. That smirk annoyed the hell out of me because it was so attractive. I hated how good he always looks, how is hair is always perfect and how his cologne always drives me crazy.

"You hungry?" Harry interrupts my thoughts, looking over at me for a second before bringing his eyes back to the road ahead of us.

"Not really. I lost my appetite." I mumble, looking down at my hands and picking at my nail beds.

"You sure do do that a lot." He says vaguely, confusing me because I wasn't really sure what he was talking about.

"Do what?" I ask out of curiosity, taking my eyes away from my lap and to his side profile.

"Pick at your nails. Why do you do it?" He asks. It honestly surprised me because he sounded genuinely curious.

"It's a bad habit." I answer shortly. I didn't really want to talk to him about my nervous habits, especially not right now.

"You're not being all short with me because of our argument right?" He states blatantly, making me grow a little nervous. He could be so closed off sometimes and then turn around and ask questions so recklessly.

"No." I say, looking to my side and out the window.

"Really? Because you're acting like it. You're avoiding eye contact and picking at your nails. You're nervous." He states. I hated how he could read me like a book.

"I am not nervous— I am just tired." I argue, picking at my nails even harder, even though I probably shouldn't.

"Did something I say upset you?" He asks, not necessarily sounding guilty, but concerned.

The was a fucking stupid question.

"No." I lie, simply just trying to end this conversation. He did upset me, but I didn't want to get into it right now. I can feel myself grow extremely anxious, my left knee starts bouncing and I start pinching the sides of my nails, I can't help it. It literally is a nervous habit, because of anxiety.

My movements suddenly come to a stop when I felt the warmth of Harry's hand on top of mine. I eyes shoot up to look at Harry who still had his eyes on the road, but his hand on mine. My heart flutters at the small touch.

"You're going to hurt yourself." He says softly, barely above a whisper. I could tell showing affection wasn't the usual thing for him; he was very out of his comfort zone. He very lightly rubs his thumb back and forth on my hand, making my nerves calm down.

That's the thing with anxiety; the most irrelevant silly things could make you freak the fuck out. Not only do I have anxiety, but I am an extreme over thinker— you can thank my father for that.

Ever since I was little he would blame me for my mother's abuse. He would say it's my fault, and if I wasn't here then she wouldn't be in pain.

And I believed him.

The worst part about manipulation is that you don't know when it's happening to you. They trick your brain into thinking they care for you; but then go and mess with your head. They make you think something is wrong with you.

The hardest part for me was that I knew what was happening. I knew my father was telling me lies, but I still fed into it.

"Thank you." I try and say, but it comes out as a faint whisper.

To my surprise, Harry keeps his hand on top of mine, sympathetically rubbing his thumb back and forth.

Although this is comforting, the touch of his skin was sending fire sparks all throughout me. I didn't think a small gesture could ignite so much inside of me.
*!!!
With his other hand, he reaches over to turn the music up. The song This Side of Paradise was playing. I love this song.

Harry suddenly starts tapping his thumb on top of my hand to be beat of the song, making me smile a little.

I rest my head against the side of the car door, and watch the fields of grass and flowers fly past us. It's crazy how much my mood has changed within minutes.

One second I was on the verge of losing my shit, and now I feel carefree, just letting the wind blow through my hair and the sun soak up my skin.

"Are you lonely?" I suddenly hear Harry sing alone to the words of the song, making me shoot my head up and look at him.

"If you're lonely come be lonely with me!" He suddenly starts bolting out, surprising me. I shoot my head in his direction in disbelief.

He was singing along to the song.

Then, he removes his hand from mine and throws them up in the air, "Cause if you're lonely darling you're glowing! If you're lonely, come be lonely with me!" He basically screams, making me smile in amusement. I watch him in awe as he sings along. I watch the way his eyes light up and the way the corner of his mouth turn upward when he smiled.

And then suddenly, something came over me, "Love so strong it makes me feel so weak!" I project out with him, throwing my arms up in the air. He turns to me with a real, genuine smile, his dimples popping up from the corners of his mouth. The look on his face makes me smile even wider, we probably looked crazy.

And I can't believe I thought this, but he looked adorable.

"I'll be the only dream you seek!" We both sing out as loud as we can, bopping our heads to the beat of the song and swinging our arms up in the air. I felt like I was in a movie or something, I felt happy.

The song dies down, and we both grow quieter and quieter. Both of us still smiling like idiots. Once the song finally ends, Harry lowers his arms and places his hand back on mine, making my heart jump.

"Looks like we can agree on music." He smirks.
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I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. I made it kinda short, but i might post another one today.
let me know how you're liking it! <3
also, i did get the idea for this chapter from duplicity. if you haven't read that book yet, i 10/10 recommend!