Rising Stars [H.S]

57 (part 2)

this is part 2 of the double update. if you didn't read part 1 go read it!!! :)

song: to be so lonely by harry styles😋
play when you see the **

Harry Styles

I think I'm going to shit my pants.

I'm dead serious. I don't know why the fuck I'm so nervous, but I am. I barely got any sleep writing this song last night after Olivia dropped me off. I couldn't sleep though anyways, and it was because I couldn't get her off my mind. Something about her drives me fucking crazy, in a good way and a bad way.

She can annoy the hell out of me but also make me feel like I'm on top of the world, and I have absolutely no clue how she does it. She has this magnetic force to her that you can't seem to pull away from. I could've easily called someone else to pick me up last night, but I didn't hesitate to press her contact name and call her. I knew I was going to end up regretting it, but my drunk self couldn't hold back.

I don't really even remember why I got drunk, I just remember being pissed off about having to take the photos with Victoria, so I got wasted. I know, very responsible.

I honestly didn't want to sing this song in front of Olivia, but I knew eventually I would have to. I have to start writing songs for the new album, and I already have several in mind but for the most part I've had a total writers block.

That is until last night.

Something about Olivia wanting to come and pick me up when I was being a drunk asshole and still having the decency to make sure I was okay just hit something in me. She could've and probably should've told me to fuck off, but she didn't. She came and picked me up when we both knew I fucked up.

Olivia will always be that kind of person though, which is one of the reasons it's so hard for me to do this to her. She is that person who will always come back and fall under your trap no matter how much shit and baggage you leave on them. She's just a genuine good person, and even though she shouldn't, I knew she would be there in a matter of minutes when I asked her to pick me up yesterday, she's too damn good to me.

So, I wrote three songs about her last night. Three. I know, it's a lot. I've only finished one though, the other two I'm still working on. They aren't perfect yet but neither are Olivia and I. It was like once I started writing I couldn't stop. My mind just began to overflow with memories and lyrics that connected to them, and it was amazing. I mean, yeah it sucked writing songs about a girl who I'm not with, but it was nice finally getting those emotions out.

I haven't quite been able to process Olivia's songs yet. And of course, her being the over thinker she is, she probably is feeling embarrassed because I haven't written any songs about her yet. That she knows of.

So, here I was about to shit my pants as I grab my guitar and put it around my shoulders, adjusting it so it fit right. I don't know why I was so nervous, it's not like I've never written a song. Except now I'm literally singing it to the person it's about, which is fucking nerve wrecking.

I stall by making sure the guitar is in tune, twisting the keys and sitting myself down on the spinny chair again. I already memorized all the lyrics and everything, so I didn't need a notebook. I could feel Niall and Olivia's eyes burning into me, but I tried my best to ignore it and just pretend I was by myself.

"I uh— I wrote this song last night, and it's pretty self explanatory. I still need to rearrange a few things and maybe change some lyrics but so far—"

"Mate, just play it." Niall interrupts my nervous rambling and I mentally scold myself for being so nervous.

I take a deep breath as I place the capo on the right fret, getting ready to start playing. I place my ring covered fingers above the strings and use my other hand to form the right chords, beginning to play.