This Feels Like Falling in Love || Drarry

8: Confession?

Hello!
Sorry for a late update, my friend moved and we were helping her plus school so not much time to write :/
I'm posting from my phone rn... during school...
Enjoy the chapter!!!

They were back to avoiding.
God, they just went in circles. Hating each other than loving each other. Ignoring each other, then being overly touchy. And over, and over.
Honestly, it was exhausting.
Draco was doing a better job at hiding it. Not just the marks (being winter scarves were common so no one questioned it) but his emotions. He was used to putting up walls, he had done so all his life. He had hidden his feelings from his friends, from his teachers, from his father. It wasn't hard for him.
He had known he was gay for a while, and he hid it well. Too well actually, he had almost forgotten it himself until Harry did... that.
Draco had been thinking about this a lot recently. He remembered his past, his second year when a Ravenclaw girl tried to kiss him. Kissing her was okay, but only because he was thinking of some hot Slytherin guy while he did.
That relationship didn't work out.
He hadn't told many people, maybe just Pansy and Blaise. He couldn't tell anyone, if his father found out he would have been kicked out a long time ago.
So he learned to hide behind a stone-faced expression. He thought it would be easy to bring that back. And it was for a while.
But he couldn't hold it for long. The stone walls were crumbling and he couldn't build them back up.
No one seemed to notice. Other than Harry, of course.
So he was back to avoiding. Going to bed early, eating late. Getting to classes late and sitting in the back.
It was a lot of work. And it was absolutely exhausting. Dying would be simpler.

Harry, on the other hand, had never done well with his emotions. He always had Ron and Hermione to share with.
But he couldn't talk to them about this.
He lasted 5 days.
Then he talked with Hermione.
"Goodness, Harry! You must've been so drunk!." She laughed while Harry told her the story.
"'Mione, come on, this is serious!" Harry whined.
"I know, I know. Go on."
"Well, after the whole party thing, I couldn't remember what had happened for a while. I do now, of course, but it took a few days to come back. And when I remembered what happened, knowing Draco had known that and was hiding it from me... I was crushed." Harry frowned at the memory. "I know, it's dumb, but I felt like he was bothered by it."
Hemione nodded along with the story.
"I was wrong though. I think he was nervous."
"Why's that?" Hermione questioned.
"Well, uh," Harry turned red while he thought of what to say. "Well, he came to my room one night, unlocked the door with magic and all that. He yelled at me. And then we um," Harry cleared his throat and rushed his words. "Thenwemadeoutforlikeanhour."
Hemione was speechless, as to be expected. "You and Malfoy, made out?" She clarified.
Harry nodded slowly.
Then Hemione laughed. "Holy hell, Harry! Finally! You two got your heads out of your arses and did something!"
"What?" Harry asked, thoroughly confused by her reaction.
"Harry, it's so obvious that you like each other!" Hermione giggled. "I'm happy for you guys."
"No, 'Mione, you don't get it." Harry dropped his hands into his lap. "It can't happen again."
"Harry?" Hemione asked warily. "What do you mean?"
"I mean no one else can know about this. It can never happen again."
"Harry, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What'd you think would happen if you two did get together? Voldemort will rise from his grave and destroy the world because 'oh no! Harry Potter is a bit gay?'" She swung her hands wildly as she spoke, clearly annoyed by the boy. "Harry, there's nothing wrong with it! Get your head out of your arse!"
Harry was shocked, to say the least. Hemione rarely lashed out, and when she did you knew it was bad.
He just mumbled an apology and got up to go back to his room.
"Harry, just talk to him. Please. Communicate." She seemed sincere. "You deserve to be happy."
So while Harry walked away, he thought of what he could say.
___________________
It had been two days since Harry's talk with Hermione making it a week since he had talked to Draco.
He had taken the time to think and came up with a plan to tell Draco how he felt.
This would totally work.

Later that day, on their way to dinner, Harry stood in the shadows of the corridor, waiting for Draco to walk past him. When he spotted the blonde boy, he grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty classroom.
"What the hell," Draco paused when he saw Harry.
They were both quiet, waiting for the other to make a move.
"What'd you want, Harry," Draco asked in a low voice.
Harry forgot his plan. "I- uh want to, erm, talk?"
"Then talk."
Harry swallowed, nerves racing through his body. "What's happening to us?" His voice quivers.
Draco was taken aback by this, Harry's voice was soft, he seemed hurt.
"Harry, what'd you mean?"
"You know what I mean," Harry muttered, not meeting the other boy's eyes.
Yeah, he knew. Draco was reminded of that stupid night every time he looked at himself in the mirror, although the marks were nearly gone now.
But Draco was scared. He was scared that he would lose the very little he had left. The ounce of respect from his father, the little bit of communication with his mother, his friends in Slytherin. His respect for himself.
And he hated that those were the things holding him back. His father, for god sakes! He was already banished from his 'home', what's left to lose?
But he was hanging on the single thread of hope that someday he would be let back, even though that house was one of nightmares.
It wasn't fair.
In his thoughts, his chin had fallen to his chest, avoiding all eye contact with Harry.
"Draco," Harry said softly, taking a step towards the other boy.
"Hey, Draco, what is it?"
Draco lets out a long sigh, he wants to tell him the truth. All of the truth. But their friendship, although ruined as it is, was too important to him. He wasn't willing to give it up.
"I'm not feeling well."
"Come on Draco, what's really wrong?"
"Seriously, I don't feel well."
Draco pushes past Harry and walks away, leaving Harry standing alone in the dark, empty classroom.
Well, confessing didn't go very well.
Harry sat against the wall in a dark corner. He let himself feel the pain and sorrow of being rejected for all of two minutes. After that, he buried his emotions back into the depths of his heart. He wiped his tears and went to the dorms.

Harry never came back for dinner. Draco watched the door, waiting for Harry to come through with his usual smile and sit with his friends at the Gryffindor table. But he never came.
Draco rushed his meal and grabbed a bundle of leftovers, leaving the dining hall without saying a word.
When he got to the common room, he went to the right, going into the Gryffindor dorms. He found Harry's room quickly and knocked on the door.
It opened, and Draco stepped in cautiously holding the food close to his chest.
"Harry?" he whispered into the quiet room.
Harry was on his bed turned away from Draco. Draco moved slowly and sat on the bed next to Harry.
Draco took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry." It was quiet enough that Harry almost missed it.
Harry felt a hand on his shoulder and then heard it again, louder this time. "I'm sorry, Harry,"
Harry turned slightly to look at the other boy's expression. It was one of pain and heartbreak.
"I could've talked to you, no- should've talked to you. I just," he took in a shuddering breath. "I just don't know how to explain it."
"Explain what?" Harry spoke, his voice hoarse.
"Emotions?" Draco sighed, his hand falling from Harry's shoulder.
"Just," Harry paused, contemplating his next words. "Tell me how you feel. What you feel."
Draco thought about it, but his mind held him back from saying what he truly felt for the other boy.
"Scared," Draco whispered.
Harry didn't know how to answer that. What was he scared of? People knowing that he-
Oh.
People knowing he's gay.
Harry was scared of that too.
Scared of disappointing people.
It makes sense.
God, how could he have been so naive to think he could confess his feelings and everything would be fine! He forgot about the obvious issues of appearance in the world. He was the Boy Who Lived! The guy who defeated Voldemort, He Who Must Not Be Named. He couldn't go and date the child of a death eater, a former death eater himself. Sure, to him Draco had changed. But he had that damn mark that showed his dark past. He had a father who was Voldemort's former right hand. His whole family was on the 'dark side'. There was no way that he could ever be with Draco. He sees that now.
But they could be friends.
Yeah, friends.
That would have to be enough.
After a long pause, both of them deep in thought, Harry spoke up,
"What's that?" He asked, pointing at the bundle in Draco's lap.
"Oh, I brought you food. You never came to dinner."
"Oh," Harry smiles. It was a nice gesture. "Thank you."
He took the food from Draco, a roll of bread, and some fruit, and began to eat only noticing his hunger now that he had food.
Draco laughed a little while Harry wolfed down the food.
"Do you want to go get more?" Draco laughed, a real smile stretched across his face.
"Yes, please." Harry laughed too.
The boys went to the kitchen and snuck more food back up to the dorms. They snacked on their stolen goods in the common room, chatting about tests and school work.
And they were friends.

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