A Penny For Your Tears [Z.M]

Thirty Eight

For a brief second, for a short while, I forgot about everything. I woke up with a smile on my face, yawning as I felt the bed for Zayn's presence. But of course, I was met with coldness, a a dark and empty room and last night's calamities came rushing back to me. I felt my eyes well up with tears, fisting the fabric of the duvet angrily. I wanted to scream, this wasn't fair, things weren't supposed to go this way, I was supposed to be happy. I was still in last night's dress, eyes swollen and head pounding from last night's emotion-filled events. I could tell Zayn hadn't come back to the room and I wasn't sure if he ever would. I couldn't even recall ever making my way from the floor to the bed but somehow I did. A sharp knocking on the door brought me out of my thoughts and my eyes widened, hands trembling slightly as I cautiously made my way towards it. Was it Zayn? Had he come back? Without a second thought I abruptly opened the door, startling the person behind it. My face fell as I realized it was just Jason, Zayn's friend from last night.

"He's not here." I mumbled, my voice hoarse from crying.

"I, I,uh, I know." He replied, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. "He's asked me to escort you back home, to London." I looked up at him, unable to hide my sorrow and disappointment.

"He's not coming?" My voice cracked and Jason looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

"No, not yet at least. I'm not too sure what his plan is but he just wanted me to take you home. I'll, uh, leave you to get packed and changed, I'll be back in an hour." He said giving me a nod before walking away, glancing back once or twice before he disappeared from view. I stood there frozen in place for a while before I closed the door and retreated into the room. I unzipped the dress and stepped out of it, grabbing a fresh change of clothes before slowly walking into the bathroom. Every movement I made felt forced, like I wasn't in control of my body. Everything hurt but I'd rather the physical pain than the heaviness of my heart and mind.

The water was scalding hot, my skin rapidly turning red from the impact and yet I didn't make any effort to lower the temperature. The pain gave me comfort, gave me something to think about other than my broken heart. Perhaps, I was being over dramatic, this wasn't the end world but it sure felt like it. It felt like the end of a world where I was happy, free, in love, surrounded by family and without a care in the world. Now, not only had I lost perhaps the love of my life but the stress and anxiety of Luca finding me was now at its peak. Too many people knew where I was and it was now most likely only a matter of time at this point. As I allowed the hot water to run over my body, my eyes flickered over to the small gold bracelet that decorated my wrist, I let my fingers run over it, eyes stinging with tears as my mind brought back the memory of Zayn giving it to me.

"Aaliyah! Please be careful and stay in the area, I don't want to go around looking for you!" Zayn called out at his younger sister, who was busy taking photos near the water. She rolled her eyes, and just like any teenager would, she flipped him the bird before going back to what she was doing.Zayn and Aaliyah had invited me to join them on a weekend trip to Brighton, an offer I was more than eager to accept. I loved watching him interact with his sister in just not a sibling level but also a parental level, reminding me that behind the violent and dangerous facade was a sweet and caring man.

"Are you nervous for Russia?" Zayn asked when Aaliyah had wandered quite a distance from us but still close enough for Zayn to keep an eye on her.  I sighed, playing with the edge of the blanket we were sitting on. It had been almost a month since I had impulsively made the decision to join them on this mission and almost everyday since then was occupied with Louis teaching me how to fight, how to build a radio, how to act when I'm there, it was all very and overwhelming and until now I hadn't really thought about the fact that we were leaving soon.