Forever, Michael

my heart remembers

: this is it era (modern)
: angst
: part 2 of "remember me"

***

Michael's POV

the very moment i finished telling her the story of how we met, she leaned her head on my shoulder, and i draped my arm over her shoulder. tears filled my eyes as i looked down at her, and saw her state; she looked absolutely restless, her eyes lacked its usual shine—she's growing weaker.

"Michael?", she calls out, her voice coming out like a whisper. i had to compose myself, taking a deep breath in. "yes, love?".

the words she said rang in my head over and over, the tears that created a pool in my eyes finally flowing down to my cheeks.

"i love you".

~

i sighed, looking at (y/n)'s usual place inside our shared room, which was a couch beside the nightstand—that nightstand where (y/n)'s marble urn of ashes is displayed.

who would've thought that day would be the very last day i'd be able to tell her how we met?

who would've thought that'll be the very last day i get to see her smile, hear her laugh, and get to hold her in my arms?

tears immediately flowed down to my cheeks. it hurt. a few years had passed, but i still feel guilty she wasn't able to hear my reply. she let out her very last breath before i could even tell her that i love her so much more than she knows. i took the urn and held it with one arm. but before i could take a seat on the couch, i noticed that the nightstand's drawer was ajar, and i saw a dusty journal inside. it piqued my interest since i've never seen it before. so i took it, and settled comfortably on (y/n)'s couch, still holding her urn tightly.

i opened the journal, and i let a small smile form on my lips. on the first page showed (y/n)'s handwriting;

"you're (y/n) Jackson, and this journal belongs to you".

turning to the second page, my heart skipped a beat. written there was about a day she spent with me. my heart leaped with joy, and it went on and on as i saw all the other pages that also contained about the moments, and her feelings from each day she spent with me. however, i also noticed each entry starting with how she just discovered i'm her husband.

she tried remembering me, i know it.

the last entry was from her last day, hours before she died. only it wasn't about the day she spent with me.

"today, i wrote a letter for michael. and if he ever finds this, the letter is on the very back of this journal".

with my eyes widened, i quickly flipped all the pages, and saw the last page folded, and had a cursive writing of my name. i opened it, and read it silently;

"Michael, my dearest love that has always been there for me,

i have very high doubts you'll see this letter, but i'll write it anyways. first of all, i would like to apologize for being a pain in the head everyday. i know you're having a hard time taking care of a hopeless case like me. but despite all that, i still see and feel the love you give me. and i'm very, from the bottom of my heart, thankful for that.

second, i would like to apologize for not remembering who you are to me everyday. i know it must be hard for you, dealing with your wife who keeps on forgetting she's married to you, and having to tell her everything over and over again. but i would like to thank you for consistently reminding me who you are in my life everyday. it means so much to me.

lastly, i'd like you to know, even though i don't remember who you are in my life, my heart knows that i love you. i love you with all my heart and soul, and i know it will never change. i may forget everything the moment i open my eyes every morning, but whenever i do and i see you beside me, my heart remembers how i truly feel about you. i don't have to think twice about it, i just know, and i just feel that i truly, and deeply love you.

Michael, i know you're tired, but keep fighting this hell of a disease with me, okay?

all the love,
your (y/n)"

closing the journal, i hugged it closed to my chest, along with (y/n)'s marble urn of ashes. and there, i released all the sobs i held in as i read her letter. if only i could let her know she wasn't a hopeless case, that she isn't a pain in the head, and that i'd gladly tell her who i am in her life everyday, i would.

but alas, i know it's too late. (y/n), the love of my life, is gone. i could only dream, and only wish of being with her once again.

—

this shit is short af i'm sorry. btw i love writing sad stories like this :3 please look forward for more of my updates!! <3