A little too much (A Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter 5

^^This is Lucy^^

Teagans POV:

I open the door to see shawn on his phone laying on his bed. I walk over to him and sit down.

As if on que he looks at my arms. He just stares at them for a few seconds before the questions start flowing.

"Teagan?" He looks up at me trying to make eye contact but I refuse, but knowing that if I did I would break down.

My eyes start to get watery but I choke them back down. Though I think shawn noticed, he grabbed my wrists and kissed every scar on them.

Which makes my heart warm.

He looks back up at me and engulfs me in a hug. I take in his scent as he whispers in my ear.

"You don't have to tell me unless your ready."

I shake my head. "I'm ready."

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"It started in freshman year." I begin. "Me, Lucy and Matt were so excited to go to high school to get away from all the middle school bullshit."

I take a long breath. " that's when it started, they started to push Lucy and I around. It wasn't that bad though, not as bad as it got." I get interrupted by shawn asking a question.

"Who's they?" He asks sympathetically

"Lauren, Jessica, and Paige." I states and shawn nods knowing exactly who I'm talking about.

"They would only physically push me around but little did I know they were cyber bullying Lucy." I speak again.

"In sophomore year it got a little worse even if Matt was on our side, he was the only other person who cared what happened to me and Lucy. Though Matt and Lucy weren't even close to how me and him were, we were inseparable."

"That year they would beat up Lucy telling her how worthless she was" I sigh shaking my head remembering how truly mean they were to her.

"But whenever I was around they wouldn't do anything to her after what I did to Paige, they were afraid of me."

"But when I wasn't around they would hit her a little harder, they would call her extra mean names, told her she was worthless one more time. I guessed it pushed her over the edge." I look up to see shawn wrapping his arms around me.

"She stopped coming to school at the end of sophomore year, since I couldn't get anymore detentions or I'd get my ass whooped , so I got closer to Matt." I continue.

"We would go over to Lucy's everyday after school to cheer her up."

"I could tell it wasn't working, I tried everything, nothing I did worked." I snuggle into Shawns chest.

"And then" I sniffle beginning to regain my watery eyes.

"Junior year." I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding in.

"This was the worst year of my life."

" It was the end of the quarter when I received a text from Lucy."
__________________________
*L-Lucy
*T-Teagan

L-come over please?

T- can't I got finals in every class :(

L-okay
___________________________
" About an hour later I decided to walk to Lucy's house." I look at the floor.

"I found her in her bathroom tub overdosed." A single tear roles down my face, but I quickly swipe it away.

"Teagan I'm so sorry" Shawn says sadly.

"That's not even the worst part," I tense up.

" it's my fault she's gone. If I would've listened to her call for help I could've stopped her" I'm starting to cry a little harder now but I choke them down, he couldn't see me cry.

"Hey it's not your fault" Shawn says softly.

"No. It is my fault..." I trail off.

"Teagan it's not your fault you didn't know..." he says a little more stern, but I cut him off.

"NO SHAWN IT IS MY FAULT IF I WOULD'VE LISTENED TO HER SHE WOULD STILL BE HERE. YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND!" I scream as I run down his stairs and lock my self in the bathroom.

I know this wasn't the smartest move knowing this is his house and I'll have to come out eventually.

"T?" Shawn speaks softly through the door.

T, that's what Matt used to call me.

"Don't call me that" I say aggressively.

"Teagan I'm sorry but please just come out I don't want you getting hurt."

I open the door and push past him. I'm making my way to the door when he grabs me by the wrists so I'm face to face with him.

I force my self to make eye contact with him. He smiles when I look into his eyes.

I fall into his arms feeling very vulnerable right now as I cry into his neck. He is the first person to see me cry besides Matt and Lucy.

We walk back to his room and sit back down on the bed.

"Do you want me to finish?" I finally ask after 30 minutes of silence. Even though it wasn't awkward silence.

I was lying in his arms while he played with my hair.

"Only if your ready." He speaks softly with a warm smile on his face.

"Okay" I nod my head. Deep breaths and here we go again.

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