So close yet, so far

Chapter 7

Humaira Ahmed

Oh allah! I can't stop my tears. That's what happens when someone asked me 'are you okay or why are you crying', I burst into more tear. That's why I don't cry in front of people. Why is that stupid boy still staring at me? I feel so uneasy and shy.

"I think you are done. Here, wipe your face with it" he handed me a handkerchief from his pocket, with the city light I could see him. Thanks Allah he turned off the flashlight so he is not going to see clearly my red and puffy looking scary eyes.

"what time is it" I said slowly.

"1:27. Don't you have school tomorrow" he was so close I could feel his breath fanning my face. I moved a little further away from his close proximity.

" yea, I should go" I slowly got up but I felt dizzy all of a sudden so I sat back down.

" are you okey? You barely have water in your body from all that crying. No wonder ur so weak" he talked so nicely and gently.

" yea, I made a river flow with my tears , we could put a boat and ride it to the Niagara falls. Huh!" I joked. My eyes were hurting like crazy. What if someone finds out I'm here and sees me with him. What will they think? If they see us, I don't know about him but my dad will kill me. He would say 'it's haram, humaira shame on you. I never thought you could be like this'. I feel scared, I really should go.

"Wow! Rudy Humaira could joked too?" He started laughing.

For minute we both were silent. The only noise were the sounds of us breathing. I was sweating and shaking. I know its not because Im cold it's because I am with Ihaan.

"Humaira" he said so softly, and lovingly.

"Yeah" I breathed out after a moment of silence

"Why did you cry so much? Can I know please. And for allah sake don't say none of my business"

I wanted to say 'it's not your business', but also felt like sharing it with him, "Tomorrow is my parents anniversary" I paused.

"I can't describe their love. They used to do special things for each other during their anniversary; my mom used to dressed up especially for my dad and my dad would always surprise her with something" my face turned into smile and I began to feel excited as visualizing everything we used to do during our parents anniversary.

" My mom loves flower and dad always buys her all kinds of flowers during special times. You know last time my dad pretend that he forgot their anniversary and my mom was mad. Me and Abir Bhia were making fun of her because she dressed up and dad didn't care, but then dad text her saying that........'how can I forgot the day when Allah finally gave the most wonderful beautiful wife to me, I can't forgot that day and not even single moment that I spend with you. I am thankful Allah for giving me best wife and who gave my lovable children. I love you Ariba happy anniversary' ....."

"Awwwwww.. It's so sweet and you remember every single word" he told me.

"Yes, because my mom was mad but then she saw the text and she started smiling and blushing while she read something from her phone but then when she went to her room I sneakily read it and I told Abir" I kept smiling as I was talking and I think Ihaan was smiling too.

" hehe ..... you guys are bad kids, reading your parents love messages" he said playfully

I laughed " I was about to turn fourteen that year but she died day before my birthday. Suddenly my smile disappeared from my face. I am feeling that pain in my heart again. Ihaan was silent; I knew he felt sad too but I shouldn't be sad anymore now. Should I?

"We always pray for her to go to jannah but every year specially during that day we don't talk about her. We just shut ourselves into our own rooms. I hold in my pain until rodu falls asleep. But it's not only because of maa, it's also for my dad. He never shares his pain with us, I know he feels lonely and sad too, but he's always acting strong for us. He worked all the time to forget his loneliness. The day I lost my mom, I lost my dad too" I began crying again. 'I wish you were here mom'

"Don't cry, you know Allah is testing your patience. When you lose something dear to you allah always has something good in store for you as well. I know nothing is better then maa but still just imagine some people dont even have both parents or anyone, but they still go on with there lives because that's Allah's test for us. If your mom was here I don't think she would like to see her family falling apart because of her. She wants you all to be happy" he is right, I never thought of it that way.

He was talking so maturely like he has been through this situation before. I listened to him thoughtfully. I was actually impressed by his words.

" Also you shouldn't live unhappily, because life is so short, anyone could die anytime so you should just enjoy it. I am not saying that you should forget your mom but
you could enjoy with your mom in memory and live happily. she is always watching you guys and don't you think every time she see guys unhappy she gets sad too?"
I didn't answer but that's a true fact.

"Humaira! Listen I know its not easy to live without your mom but you have to be strong because that's your test. Since your mom is not here its your responsibly to take care of your dad, your brother and your sister. Your supposed to support you dad during his rough times and take care of his as well. You guys can make him happy again if you try all you need to do is to stay by his side and be happy " his voice changing to a serious mood

I was amazed I felt like we always knew each other even though today was the first time we talked like actual civilized people. The way he talk's is so attractive and caring. I forgot all my pain for a little moment and took in every word he said.

"Thank you so much and you are right, my family is my responsibility. I know my mom is mad at me because she always told me if she goes somewhere, I should take care everyone but.......... I didn't do anything. I made my dad and grandma do everything. And when my grandma wasn't here my dad would cook for us. I feel ashamed of my self". The fact that this is true is making me so sad that I never took care of my dad, when he needed me more than anyone because we used be so friendly to each other.

I know he was staring at me so I put my face down. I feel more shy now out of embarrassment that I didn't take up my responsibilities and my body was shaking more.

" Don't be ashamed! You just needed some time to make yourself strong." He smiled at me.

"Thank you so much" I looked at my phone to see what time is it.

" why are you shaking, are you cold?"

I am shaking because you are looking at me dummy I thought. " yea kind of cold" ...."Omg! It's almost 4, I have school!" I didn't realize the time was passing by so fast. I was supposed to be home not spending my night on the roof. What if someone was looking for me , my throught got dry getting scared of being caught in the roof with a boy, but I also felt happiness somewhere in my heart.

"Don't go to school tomorrow. I know you'll have a peaceful sleep today"I looked into his eyes.

" yea I will just sleep" I smiled at him.

I was just staring at him, ......'he cared about me but why?' I didn't have any answer. I was slowly put my hand up to my chest, it was beating like crazy. I felt like I was in a fairy tale and Allah sent him to put a smile on my face. How could I let him call me pori, when I only keep this name for someone special? Could he could be that person? Why I am feeling comfortable with him? .... So many question were running through my mind but for the first time I am not looking for any answer and letting my heart beat for at it's own will.

.............Authors Note............

Thank you for reading .. I hope you guys enjoying...
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