So close yet, so far

Chapter 5

Ihaan islam

My ear drums are buzzing from this girls non stop talking. There are "Still so many important things to say" she claims, which to me is actually stupid. Doesn't this girl have an on and off switch, cuz if she did I would have pressed the mute button on her a long time ago. Tanika is my moms cousins daughter and there were best friends since childhood. They live in London but every two years they would come over and visit us. When our two families are together we go to so many places. Tanika's twin brothers Araf and Akib are like my older brothers. When we are together we always bother Tanika and make her watch scary movies with us. We know she doesn't want to watch it but she knows that we will tease her about it later. After the movies she would go to sleep with her mom because she's to scared.

Tanika is an innocent and beautiful girl. I like her but not that way she does. I can't stop her when she shows her feelings for me because we both know our parents betrothed us since we were kids.
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" Wake up Ihaan! Why are you sleeping at this time. You and your father are impossible! It's 8:56pm, he still didn't come from work and you are sleeping" Why she is yelling at me?

" Ma, taxi drivers don't always finish work early, they find passenger anywhere so stop yelling"

" Stop taking your dads side, he should of let me know he is gonna be late, when I already told him I need him early home today. Of course your dad never remember my words!!"

"Oh! Maybe he is stuck somewhere, but why you need him? If you need to anywhere I could take you"

" Yeah I want to go Jackson Heights for shopping and I want to go with your dad . Your dad supposed to buy new sari for me this month"

Oh yeah, I should known where she could go. Seriously! Why girls need new clothes and jewelry everyday? Come on, why new ? When your closet already full. I don't understand girl.

She didn't stop until dad came home. They are like that sometimes and I make fun of them by calling them 'Romeo and Juliet' or 'love birds'. They express their love by yelling at each other over casual things; its so cute.

Sometimes I try to imagine how Tanika will yell at me for forgetting our anniversary. But I know she will not yell me because she does everything I tell her to do. She doesn't even get mad at me when I forget her birthday and don't wish her until she tells me that it's her birthday. Sometimes I think what If Allah didn't made her for me? I want someone in my life who will yell at me for my mistakes, who will wake me up for fazr, who will make me cook for her birthday, who will pretend to be hurt and make me worry but tanika is nothing like that. She makes me feel like I'm controlling her because of her obedience towards me.

Humaira texted me at 5:54pm when I was slepeing.

I m sorry I texted her back

I hope you understand why I didn't accept ur ride. Even tho you are my neighbor you are still a boy, and It wouldn't seemed right if I went alone with u in the car.

She is right, it wouldn't be good if she came with me alone. But I am still mad with her behavior, if is not right she still could of told me nicely not rudly.

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Humaira Ahmed

After dinner, we all prayed together in jamat. Sometimes my brother read it we stand behind but most of the time it's my dad. I love it when my dad does the prayers; when he reads the Quran I feel so touched and peaceful.

I forced my self to text sorry back to Ihaan when he said that I was rude; saying sorry is not really my type of thing. Ihaan replied me at 11pm.

It's fine, I understand.

Me.... thnk u

Him.... so u r sad?

Me.... How do u kno?

Him.... Magic!!

Me.... ohhhh I remember, u know bcs of my status?

I wrote a status that says 'I feel lonely and sad ' when I was imagining my moms death.

Him....U actually got a brain😀. So miss! y r u sad?

Me....I don't like to share

Him.... Humaira, sometimes if u share ur pain with other ppl, u will feel light.... trust me.

Me.... Thnks fr ur advice but I have no pain.

Him.... Stop trying to be strong because no ones life is fully perfect ... I read all of ur statuses and every status I feel ur sadness.

Me.... can u stop! U r annoying and stop putting urself into other peoples business.

Him.... Ok bye😡

He left. I was just looking at messenger if he text me again. Honestly I want to talk to him. I don't know why whenever I see him or he texted me, my heart started beating fast. Before I never used to noticed him but nowadays I actually look at him whenever I see him. It's a coincidence that most of the times we both leave the house at the same time in the morning and I always catch his gasing eyes for a moment before we both part to our own ways. We knew each other for at least a year but still when we talk we always end up argueing. I feel like he wants to be my friend because he feels bad for me. He wants to show sympathy and extra kindness cause I don't have mom and I hate that.

I can't sleep anymore. I need some air because I feel anxiety and I am sweating. I feel like going to the roof now. What if someone catches me?Who cares... I always go to the roof when I can't sleep.

Author notes...........❤️
I hope you guys enjoying. I apologized for my grammar but if there any confusion please let me know😊

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