Mac (Riders of Apollo #8)

Chapter Forty-One: Evangeline White

I threw up. 

I haven't thrown up since I was twelve years old and now here I am in the bathroom, looking in the mirror after having thrown up at six o'clock in the morning. Mac is still dead asleep in the next room and I don't want to wake him, thankfully the nausea has waved over now and I'm feeling much better but this is not normal. 

I need to go the doctors. I book an appointment on my phone for eight and start getting ready to go. I can hear Mac's heavy breathing and I watch him sleep for awhile, subconscious holding my stomach as I do so. I can't think of any other reason why I'd only feel sick in the early morning after being in perfect health for decades. 

There's a high likelihood that I'm carrying Mac and I's baby. Wow, suck on that Dierdre. I groan softly at my thoughts, I really shouldn't be thinking about how fun this would be to rub in her face. I don't even know if Mac wants another baby after losing his, even if he didn't know about that baby until they died. 

I get changed into a warm jumper that's cropped, so if I need an ultrasound they can access my stomach easily, with some matching jogging bottoms. I slip on some trainers and notice the time, I have to get in the car in about ten minutes or I will be late to my appointment. My gyno is on the other side of the city so the drive is just over an hour and that's factoring in traffic time. I head over to Mac and sit on the bed next to him, stroking his face to rouse him without startling him.

"Where are you going?" He sounds all adorable when he's sleepy and his voice is so much deeper in the mornings. 

"I have a check up at the doctors in about an hour so I have to go. Will you be here when I get back?"

"Are you okay?" He startles out of the sleepiness to fix me with a concerned gaze. 

"I'm okay, honey. I just need a check up, that's all. I love you." 

"I love you, too." He relaxes again and I kiss his head as he drifts back off to sleep. I don't want to give him any false hope, he's already lost one baby, I don't need him losing another, especially not ours. I've never had any problems with my reproductive health over the years but I want to be one hundred percent sure that for one, I'm pregnant, and two, I can carry this baby full term with few complications.

The drive there is peaceful, no traffic and the soft hum of my favourite music keeps me in that lucid stage of 'I don't need to panic yet'. I end up waiting in the reception for half an hour and I'm called back by the doctor. "Hi Evangeline, it's nice to see you again." 

"Hi Livine, thank you for seeing me on such short notice." I take a seat as she smiles at me, sipping at her coffee absentmindedly. The clinic doesn't even open yet so she's seeing me outside of her working hours. "I threw up this morning." Is what I start with and she looks just as surprised as me before she smirks at me.

"You got yourself a boyfriend, Miss White?" I turn pink and look away. I'm very rarely flushed but Livine knows exactly how to tease me to make me feel all girly and it's annoying. "So, you're thinking pregnancy?" She turns serious again and I appreciate her all the more for it.

"I can't think of any other reason I'd be sick, I haven't done it in so long... Besides I've been feeling nauseous for a few days which is a good thing considering I haven't been drinking for awhile either." 

"It's pee in a cup time." I pout in irritation. I hate peeing in a cup but I do so without complaint, washing my hands thoroughly afterwards. "Okay, so is there anything else you want to ask me before we check the results?"

"I just need you to tell me that the baby will be safe if I am pregnant."

"Eva, you are in perfect health. Your uterus is strong, your body is strong and you're already a good mother. You have got this. I can do an ultrasound to check the health of your uterus if that would ease your worry?" I nod immediately, setting up on the chair again as she faffs around for all the things she needs. 

The check up goes well, she repeats her earlier words and then she turns back to me with a waiting smile. "You ready to know?" I nod shakily, squeezing her hand in excited nerves. "You're pregnant, honey. A little you." 

I start crying, which I'm blaming on the hormones, and Livine laughs softly, bringing me into a tight hug. "You know it's actually annoying that you still look beautiful when you cry." I chuckle, thanking her in my head for comforting me. "I want to know what the dad looks like, if he's as gorgeous as you then that baby is going to be a model." 

I pull out of the hug to show her a picture of him and she yelps, yanking my phone from my hands before shaking me excitedly. "Girl! This man is too yummy, are you joking? You've been hiding this from me for how long?" 

"A few months." I whisper awkwardly, managing to nick my phone back with a proud smile aimed at the picture on my phone. 

"Months! You've settled down, Eva. That's so exciting, I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you." I hug her tightly just as her secretary comes in to announce her next appointment is here. I take my leave and head across the street to the coffee shop for some green tea to ease my nerves. I really want Mac to be happy because I can't give up this baby, I won't. 

The drive home is longer as I drag it out as long as possible to let me gather my thoughts. I don't want to just break it to him but I don't want to do a massive thing because I don't think he'd appreciate it. His bike is still here when I pull up so I take a deep breath and head back upstairs where he's still in my bed.

I suppose it's our bed now.

"Hey baby." He greets, folding the newspaper he was reading and placing it on the bedside table with a smile. He doesn't seem to notice my anxiety so I advance on him, he pulls me onto the bed next to him and rolls on top of me.

"Gently." I tell him without meaning to and he looks up at me all worried.

"Are you hurt? What did the doctor say?" He looks over my body with wide, panicked eyes as if he's checking for bullet wounds or hives. 

"Give me your hand," He gives me a wary look but gives me his hand, palm up. I turn it over and place it under my jumper and over my stomach. He doesn't click on so I grab the side of his face to focus on him. "I'm pregnant, Mac, with our baby." 

He starts crying. It wasn't just me then, thankfully. He leans down and nuzzles into the side of my neck like he normally does and I can feel his tears on my neck. I stroke through his hair as his hand stays on my stomach, the other gripping my waist. "Are you happy?" I ask awkwardly, still not knowing whether he's crying sad or happy tears. 

He leans up to rest on his elbow as his hands start to shake, looking me in the eye. "Of course, I'm happy, Eva. This is our baby... my baby." He says the last part so quietly, almost reverently as he focuses on my stomach, drawing patterns with shaking fingertips. "Are you happy?" He's scared, that's why he's shaking. He can't think that I'd tell him about this baby, let him get all happy and excited, only to have an abortion. 

I hold his face in my hands as he watches me hesitantly. "I'm happy." I whisper, reassuring him with my eyes that this is everything that I want. A family with him. "I know we've already three children that are all grown up but I'm ready to start again, if you are." 

"I'm ready, baby, always."