Oakland

Chapter 5

"What did I tell you?" Ronan yelled at Erin. They were back in Ronan's dorm room. Erin stood by the large window. She could hear her twins shouting at her but she wasn't listing her mind was somewhere else. This was happening again. Ronan telling her to be careful with boys, that he doesn't love her. Erin thought of seven months ago.                                                                                             (TRIGGER WARNING- sexual assault/rape. Skip to next paragraph if triggering)

 Pearl Ivanov's birthday party. Erin had spent the whole day getting ready with Pearl and the girls, all wearing scandalously short skirts and dresses.  Covered in fake tan, makeup, and perfume. Erin was so excited because that night was the night, the night she and Isaac were going to sleep together. Pearl had been talking for the past week about all the girls were going to get with someone that night. Pearl was Erin's best friend since they were six and they knew everything about each other. Pearl's family had a massive Russian corporation business that made her quite rich. She always was having big parties that would get out of hand. Everyone knew about Pearls parties and everyone wanted to get invited to them. Her house was triple the size of the average large family house. All of the interior was gold and marble. Erin had convicted Pearl to invite Isaac. They all took photos that night, danced to Rihanna, Summer Walker, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj and Cardi b before the guests arrived. Before the worst night of  Erin's life. By 8:30 the house was filled with drunk sweaty teenagers, drugs and loud music.                                    Erin was squeezing past people trying to find Isaac. When she saw him standing by Pearls pool in his tight khaki green t-shirt and him laughing with his friends, Erin knew that all the love she was feeling she had to show it to him. Isaac didn't plan for the night to go the way it did. He didn't plan to force Erin. Erin didn't plan to hesitate once they were in Pearls downstairs bathroom. If it wasn't for Pearl banging down the door saying she needs to piss, who knows how much longer Erin would be stuck there trapped. The rest of the night was a blur. Everyone was sent home except Pearl, Erin, Isaac and Ronan. Ronan had shown up at 8:30 when most people came.  All Erin remembers from that night was Ronan bellowing at Isaac. Pearl telling them to keep it down. Isaac shouting back to Ronan that he didn't plan to force Erin. Erin thinking she didn't plan to get raped.        

"Are you even fucking listening to me?" Ronan barked. Erin wasn't listening at all. Ronan grabbed her shoulder and shook them. He sighed and hugged her. Erin felt her eyes well up as she hugged him back. "I'm only looking out for you Er. That's why you're not going to be hanging out with whatever his name is." Ronan muttered. Erin felt her body go stiff, her blood turns cold, her heart stops beating. She pulled away and looked up at her twin. "What do you mean, Ronan?" she squeaked out. "I mean you're not going to be anywhere near that boy-" "James" Erin snapped. "Anywhere near James. You can't be making out with boys in a public corridor when you've only gotten here," said Ronan opening a window. "I'm not going to tell you everything I do with boys or decisions to do with boys," Erin says rage creeping into her voice. Ronan turned and said "If you told me you were going to fuck Isaac at Pearls party I would have told you not to. It's obvious that any sex you and him were gonna have wasn't the loving kind." Erin felt the world spin. "So what you're saying that it's my fault that I got raped? That even though I said no to Isaac very clearly and multiple times that it's my fault because I wanted to do something that is normal and you've done?" Erin yelled at him. Ronan stud at the window with his mouth half-open. The twins had never called it rape. Even though it was on the police records. It was almost like a secret agreement between them never to call it what it was.  "Never for one second was it your fault. You know that" Ronan barely whispered. "Exactly it's not my fault. We're brother and sister, Ronan, I'm not going to tell you about my life. I was a virgin up until that night. I'll fuck who I like, dress how I like and do what I like." Erin screamed ar him. suddenly the old wooden door behind them opened. In walked Serena. Erin turned fast on her heels. Erin snapped"Who the fuck are you?". Serena ran a hand through her long black hair. "I'm Serena Dewan. His- " "Bitch?" Erin cut across her. "Erin I'm trying to protect you from getting hurt." Ronan sighed. "Well I can fucking protect myself." Erin said walking straight past Serena, slamming the door behind her.