It was too surreal.
The clouds seemed to have heared me cause it started raining, proving that he was really there.
There he was standing under the rain paralyzed as i am and just staring right back at me. After those seven years I got to finally see him. Sabi nga nila seven is a lucky charm but this one? I doubt that. Malas ako sa pag-ibig. Hindi ko alam basta ang alam ko hindi maganda tutunguan nito, I just know it. Nagstart ng kumabog yung dibdib ko. It feels different this time like god's sending me a warning.
He kept his distance letting the rain soak him. He looked at me with those cold eyes na parang i hurted him. I don't blame him but i knew it was all bound to happen anyway. I don't really see the point on blaming one another. Siya lang to hangover parin sakin.....
His once curly hair was now starting to be straight but he still looks handsome. Kahit ano atang hairstyle bagay sa kanya. Well i bet noong nasa military siya marami paring mga soldiers ang nagkakagusto sa kanya. I know for sure it isn't one of those stereotypes, that some men in the army will go gay. Gender after all always has been a thin line for many. It's only pushed down by our patriarchal society and religion. As for his clothes, he's wearing his favorite blue shirt, which was now hugging him. Nasinuot niya rin noon sa foundation day.
He had always been old fashioned person. He likes realness instead of the temporary affection. It's also the reason why he doesn't post much on his social media and one of the reasons why i was so hooked to him. Was and not is. I gotta remember that.
Nostalgia came rushing back at me.
It reminded me again of that day. So he wore the shirt and I did the necklace. Soobrang liit na nun sa kanya, as his muscles clung to his shirt.
He was all over wet but it doesn't seem to mind him, kahit sa ulan hindi siya pinagkait sa kagwapuhan. Tangina ang unfair talaga ng buhay...
Kung hindi ko siya kilala pinagkamalan ko na siyang body builder o kaya guard ng eskwelahan, mukang bagay sa kaniya iyon....
Regardless i know he likes his job now. After all it's the reason why i had to break up with him.
Asa tapat kami ng school sa may entrance. Ako nasa may gate ng school na may bubong at siya naman nadon sa kabilang kalsada. Bakit kasi binalak ko pang pumunta dito sa Alumniparty kahit alam ko na aattend siya. Afterall he was the president of student council before. An overachiever and one of the few people who took his position seriously.
Maybe i wasn't avoiding him at all. Maybe i wanted to see him after so many years. Basta ang gulo ng utak ko. I can't seem to decide or maybe i just miss the feeling.. the feeling of being in love, kahit nakatali pa.
I don't know why i found myself this morning getting ready, like there's something unsettled that has to be settled today, pero ang alam ko naman na Saturday ngayon at wala namang akong work. Napansin ko na lang when i was at the gate of my house na ready na kong umalis, hindi magpapapigil kahit kanino. I was sure to the unsureness.
Sabi nga nila sa isang tao ka lang talga tutupi. I even wore the necklace but i hid it under my shirt para hindi kita. Even his favorite perfume i had on today. Kanina lang parang ayaw kong pumunta, ngayon asa kotse na ko. I wasn't even planing on starting the car but here I am, babalik pa ba ko kung bihis na bihis na ko. Sayang makeup..
It didn't seem right talaga and I feel like I was over my head, driving to the place I thought I'll never come back to so I drove around our school seeing kung sino na dumating.
The school didn't change one bit, andon pa rin yung sign sa harap ng school ,, Sacred Heart Academy of Pasig" and the waiting area with the small garden infront of the school. It still has the earth tones na nandoon na before pa lang.
I was greeted by kuya guard. At first hindi namin nakilala ang isa't isa. Natawa lang ako kasi siya pala yung guard na natataksan namin ng mga kaibigan ko tuwing magcutting.
Nauuto pa kaya siya ng mga Estudyante ngayon, pero approve ako for our school's loyalty. Ang tagal na noon mabait na ko ngayon and he's still here.
I saw my barkada. Andon na rin si Ariel, Isko, Haru, Ezikiel, Celeste at si Eden. Nagkatuwaan kami at nagkamustahan. Ngayon na lang ulit kami nakompleto.
It was all making me feel nostalgic siya na lang kulang to make it all seem like before. My eyes search the room looking for him pero mukhang di yata siya dadalo.
"looking for someone....?" Sabi ni Isko
"Oo bakit?... yung pogi nating student-teacher noon nakita mo ba? " excuse ko.
" tangina heather!.. sigurado ako may asaw't anak anak na yun" tawang tawa sabi ni Isko, who seemed shocked at my reply pero Isko knows na excuse ko lang yon and we both know siya rin may hinahanap.
"Hindi na dadating yun" habol niya.
"Sino?? yung sayo ?? yung akin o yung teacher?" Sagot ko.
"Sana yung teacher" bulong namin dalawa na narinig rin naman namin. Biglang nagtawanan kami hoping kahit sana isa samin maging masaya ngayong gabi. Kahit ngayong gabi lang o.
I don't know why bakit itong si Isko hindi nakahanap ng bago. He was a playboy before pa lang and I'm sure with his looks, he can captivate any of his officemate's hearts... But i guess not his. Hays mahirap talaga kalabanin ang first love kahit sarili mo na ang lumalaban.
Til the end of the party we didn't see any of them, kahit man lang yung pogi naming teacher noon. Mukha naman malas tong lucky seven.
Mga alas dose na natapos yung party. Nagsimula ng nagsialisan ang lahat yung iba naman nag yayaan maginuman. Nilapitan ako ni Isko kanina kung gusto ko daw maginuman sabi ko naman game lang ako.
I made sure everything's on my bag and checked lastly the room, hoping he'll come last minute, pero what was i even hoping when it was all over seven years ago.
Papunta na sana ako sa car but then I saw him through the schools light sa harap ng school parang siya rin cause our eyes met. I can't move...
Madilm kaya i started doubting myself, kala ko namamalik mata lang ako but heaven seemed to have heard my prayers. It rained. Which even made my vision even blurry but there he was standing on the rain.
Hindi niya ba alam pano sumililim baka magkasakit siya.
Habang umulan our eyes were just set on one another not bearing to moved as if one move would show how we feel. I know he was shock to see me but he kept his posture.
I started to feel the cold wind and my stomach starts to tingle. Gusto ko na rin iwasan ang kanyang mata. It was all too overwhelming but that's just an understatement because that just describes him and not the whole situation. Only him can do that. Kahit buong batchmate ko would agree.
Nakita ko nanagring yung cellphone ko, i know it's Isko but I rejected it and looked at him again.
Now he's walking towards me. Sabay nang hakbang niya yung puso ko. I don't know what he wants but I know it's not good. It's never good with him. Pero i guess eto nanaman tayo...
"Let's talk.."
