The Bridge to College

Chapter 13 Broken

Broken....That's how Jess felt. Broken. Despite Leslie promising to always be there for him, Jess still felt so alone. The feelings really hit hard upon returning to their apartment. Jess hadn't even talked much to Leslie despite them living together. He didn't want to ignore Leslie but it hurt. Jess felt alone even while surrounded with people. Calls in and out, telling Jess how bad they feel about his loss. Scott Hoager called with his sympathies and even offered to come back out for Christmas break but Jess told him not to. He pretended to be fine and that's how he was. Jess, even put up that charade with Leslie. He didn't want to burden her with how he felt.

It was Christmas Eve 2 weeks after Miss Edmund's death and would go down as Jess' worst Christmas ever. Right now he was sitting on the roof smoking a cigarette hoping for the pain to go down. He had very little sleep, barely ate, and was just upset as a whole. The closest thing Jess did that was normal was attend the school chapel every Sunday. But that didn't help the open sore of brokenness with the loss of Miss Edmunds. 

Jess takes another drag of his cigarette. It numbed the emptiness he felt inside but not for long. Things were going so well. Why? Why did this happen.

"Jess," Leslie said appearing behind him hugging onto Jess, "I know it's been a hard time. Maybe we should see a therapist."

By we Leslie probably meant he.

"Leslie I don't need help," Jess said.

"Jess I know when you lie to not hurt me," Leslie said hugging Jess and rubbing his back, "I'm here. I know you feel broken, but I am here for you to help make you feel better."

"Thanks Leslie," Jess said his voice wavering. The hug did make him feel better quite a bit from how he was before. He took another drag, "Death is rough ain't it? I feel like I only focused on myself. I'm sorry Les."

"It's alright Jes," Leslie said, "I'm sad too, but we will find a way together."

Leslie rests against Jess' shoulder.

"Thanks again," Jess said, "My queen."

Leslie gives a typical "Leslie Burke" smile as she takes deep breaths, "Merry Christmas Eve."

"Doesn't feel like it," Jess said as he takes another drag.

He turns and sees Leslie who has a small smile but also seems sad. He guesses she found peace in Jess being there. Maybe he will be fixed, maybe it takes time. He is thankful for Leslie.

"I really meant it when I said sorry," Jess said, "I didn't mean to ignore you.'

"S'okay," Leslie said giving Jess a kiss on the cheek, "I understand what you're going through."

"I love you Les," Jess said.

"I love you Jess," Leslie said before getting an idea. Jess knew she had it as her eye glow when she has a brilliant idea, "Let's stay out here until Christmas Jess."

"Les it's 8.....Okay dear," Jess said as he sits out with Leslie.

It's a cold night and some would describe it as crisp. Jess and Leslie were surprised aty first as in the south it was rarely this cold. But they quickly learned to wear layers. Jess was wearing a thick Real Tree camoflage coat, and thick pants, boots, gloves, and a black stocking cap. Leslie was wearing a puffy whitish blue coat, boots, gloves, and a beanie. They would be fine being out here until midnight.

Jess eventually puts out the cigarette and puts it in the ash tray as to not litter. He gives a small smile to Leslie.

"Wouldn't you describe this night as magical my queen," Jess asks.

"I would my king," Leslie replied smiling. 

Internally both Jess and Leslie knew that Miss Edmunds would have liked this night as well. As the night goes on Leslie and Jess snuggles closer to each other. Until midnight..Well Jess checked his watch, a gift his Father Jack gave him before leaving home. Jack said that real men wore watches, not the cheap digital plastic ones but metallic ones with real bands and advanced watch work. Jess was appreciative at the gesture and the fact that such a watch was expensive.

"Leslie it's Christmas," Jess gently shook Leslie awake. The blonde girl had dozed off.

"Oh yeah Merry Christmas Jess," Leslie said merrily.

"Merry Christmas Leslie," Jess said with a smile.

Things could only get better