Save Myself // Larry Stylinson

Chapter 20

Chapter 20: XX

Summary:

This chapter is a beast. It took me ages to write, but I hope everyone enjoys it! A little Christmas cheer and a little less drama than the norm for this story!

Song inspo for this chapter was Learn to Let Go and Rainbow by Kesha. Perfect songs for Louis.

Also, I fully stole a line from Ed Sheeran's Hearts Don't Break Around Here..... sorry not sorry.
Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

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December creeped up slowly and without much warning. Things had mostly gone back to normal with Harry which was more than a little bit of a relief for Louis. December brought along with it the pressure of exams and while it had never been something that Louis had cared about in the past, he found himself wrapped up in the late nights and study sessions that seemed to always take place on the floor of Harry and Niall's flat. A lot of things that had never mattered to Louis were starting to matter now, and the night before their biology exam he was hung up on remembering the praise his mother had given him months back regarding his grades. He wanted it again, and if studying until five in the morning was going to get him there, than so be it.

Very suddenly Harry slammed his textbook shut and flipped over onto his back, "I relent," he announced.

Louis was still sprawled on his stomach, flicking through his flash cards for maybe the hundredth time that week. "You're giving up?" He said as he put his flash cards down and pushed away his text book so he could shimmy over to where Harry was laying. He rolled onto his back and used his arms for a pillow.

"Not giving up, just letting Jesus take the wheel," Harry qualified.

"You don't even believe in Jesus,"

"Stress can lead to hallucinations," explained Harry, "same thing."

"You all packed?" Asked Niall from the couch. Niall had one more exam the next morning and then he was leaving for Holmes Chapel. Harry, on the other hand, still had his final in bio and his Shakespeare class and three more shifts to get through.

"Not even close," responded Harry.

Everyone was leaving and Louis was trying really hard not to think about it. It wasn't going to be so bad, really. Christmas fell on a Sunday and it was working out that Louis wasn't even going to miss a single day with Terri. Plus Harry was only leaving for a week. He'd even be back in time for New Years. He'd be back before Louis' family, so that wasn't so bad.

The thing was, ever since the day that he'd overheard Lottie and his mother argue about him going to Spain, there was a tiny part of him that couldn't help but hope it was still going to be a last minute snap decision on his mother's part. He kept hoping that any day she was going to invite him and then he'd be able to stop feeling so awful about lying to Harry.

Well, he hadn't really lied, he reasoned. When Harry had asked about what he was going to end up doing for Christmas, he'd said that Lottie had been asking about Spain. Harry had smiled bright enough to nearly melt all the ice around Louis' heart. He couldn't delve deeper. He couldn't break the excitement that Harry felt for him. He didn't want to admit that for yet another Christmas, he'd be alone in his giant house, pretending as hard as he could that it wasn't happening.

And Harry was excited about Christmas. He kept talking about baking cookies with his mum and sister and decorating the tree while Robin teased him about tripping over his own two feet. Louis had seen enough movies to know that his Christmases were the exception and not the rule. Christmas was supposed to be about being surrounded by loved ones, and hell, even Zayn was excited about it. Zayn was maybe the most bitter person he could think of, but he happily regaled stories about the smiles from his little sisters that lit up the town.