My boss

Facing Fears

                             *Alli's point of view*

   Another day waking up with Grayson laying next to me. Another day forcing myself out of bed. Another day moping around trying not to fall apart. It's been a few days now and I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I don't know if I can walk into that building and have to look at the love of my life living her life without me.
   I sit on the couch on my laptop aimlessly browsing. I like to online window shop sometimes to occupy my mind. I look up at my tabs and realize I still have a tab open about random apartments in Seattle, Washington. Grayson and I always talked about moving there together someday. We both wanted to move across country to a place where no one else knew who we were. Neither one of us are very close with our families so that wasn't much of an issue.
   I scroll through the apartments and a thought runs through my mind. What if I move to Seattle? I have enough in my saving account to buy a plane ticket, put down a deposit and pay for my stuff to be shipped.
   Maybe this is what I need. A new start. I can't see my self moving on anytime soon but I need a fresh start. I spend a few hours contemplating the decision. There's nothing keeping me here anymore. Yes I love my job but I can always find another one. After hours of thinking I decide that I can do it. I need to do this for my self.
   I spend the rest of the day packing the essentials and buying the things I need. I find a hotel in the area I want to find an apartment in because I don't want to find one without looking at it in person first. Am I really doing this? Am I really moving across the country?
   Next thing I need to do is quit my job...I know they probably aren't expecting it but I know they'll be alright without me there. James is one of the best managers there and I know he will find an amazing replacement.
   As it gets closer to bed time I have to do one last thing. I find a pen and a paper and I write a letter. To Grayson. I know she will probably hate me for not saying goodbye in person and for leaving all together but I can't face her. If I see her again I won't be able to bring myself to leave. I need to leave this place. There's too much pain and memories here.
   I finish the letter and search around for an envelope and a stamp. I'll mail it out right before I leave so that she gets it after I'm already far far away.
   The next morning I wake up the same way as usual. Sad, lonely, and heartbroken. But today is a new day. I have to at least try to pick myself up and put the pieces back together.
   I get the rest of my stuff together and I head to the car. I don't really have much so most of it honestly fit in my car. I'm having movers ship the big stuff like my bed, couch, desk and tv in a few days.
   I head to the post office first and drop off the letter. Then I drive to the airport. I decide to make one last stop before I leave. I get to the parking lot and I stand outside of my car and wait.
   "Hey! I was wondering where you've been. We've missed you! When are you coming back?" James asks. I needed to tell him in person that I wasn't coming back. We were friends and he deserves to know.
   "I'm not coming back." I say with a small smile on my face. "I got an offer for a job in Seattle and I'm taking it. I need this."
   "Wow...well I guess congrats. That sounds amazing. Have you told you know who yet?" He asks and I know he's talking about Grayson.
   "No not really. I sent her a letter. She should get it after I'm already too far to chase me down. She deserves so much better." I fidget with my hands a bit as I talk.
   "You sure that's the right way to go? You two have been through so much together and all she gets is a letter?" I know he isn't trying to be mean but it comes off as a bit harsh. I know that him and Gray had become friends so I can see why he's protecting her.
   "I know she deserves more but I can't face her. If I said goodbye in person she would find a way to make me stay. I would right back into her arms and we would go through the same cycle. I can't do that. This is the best option for everyone. I just came to tell you that I'm leaving. I already put in my notice with the boss. But I wanted to ask a favor. I know I'm in no position to ask anything of you but would you keep an eye out on Gray? Just don't let her get all dark and twisty. She's got a bad past with it and I don't want it to happen again." I ask him. I know Gray struggles with her own personal things and she did before she met me too. I don't want to see her go down the wrong path.
"Yeah. Of course I will. Good luck on your journey. We really will miss you here. I know Grayson will too." He tells me. I can't help but feel a little guilty about how I'm doing all of this so suddenly but I can't be here anymore. There's too many memories. Too much pain.
"Thank you so much. I will miss you all just as much. Especially Gray...but I have to do this." I tell him. He pulls me in for a quick hug and we say our goodbyes. I head back into my car and make my way to the airport. I've got about an hour and a half until my flight leaves but knowing how slow everything goes there it'll be good to be there early.
I get my car parked and I head in to check in my bags. I get through security pretty quickly. There isn't too many people here it must be a day that isn't too busy. I get to the seating area where my flight is going to be boarded and I find a seat by the window. I look out and I can see multiple planes. I'm really doing this aren't I?
A half hour passes and I've still got about 45 minutes until my flight boards. I head to find some coffee since I haven't had any yet today. I finally find a Starbucks and I order my usual iced americano and chocolate croissant. I head back to my seat with my breakfast and scroll through random social media's on my phone trying to pass the time.