Paper Walker

Chapter 22

We have the entire Sunday to ourselves and I show him my city. My mother stopped being so sharp-eyed and even though she has to get used to Sorley's presence in this house, we quickly fall back into our old routine.

I go to school properly every day and do my job according to my roster. Every minute I'm not with Sorley, I miss him, but I want to be done with this school at the end of the school year. Now, more then ever. And when I want to leave home, I'll need money, so I never complain about my hours and spend as little as possible.

The time I'm away, Sorley spends on training at the nearest fitness centre and working on some work assignments he receives from America. Something to do with computers, websites, I have no idea what, precisely.

A week passes by. Halfway the second, my mother asks me when he plans to go back again and I know I can't expect her to put up with an extra person in her house for much longer, yet it still hurts to think about saying goodbye.

"I can get a hotel", he suggests, when I bring it up in the evening.

"That's a waste of your money", I mumble. I've spent the entire day thinking about a solution, but unless he wants to spend more money on an extended stay, I come up empty. The thought crossed my mind to ask my father if Sorley can stay there. However my father will want to know a lot more details than my mother and frankly I think it's not fair to grandma Meghan, when he stays here much longer. When I say that out loud, Sorley nods resigned. He knows I'm right.

"We have our books, we can see each other whenever we want to."

"Yeah, "I sigh, "for now that'll have to do."

---

At the end of the second week we're back at the train station. There's a little less than ten minutes to go before the train to Amsterdam takes off and I've wrapped my arms tightly around Sorley's waist. He holds me just as tight and every time I feel tears surfacing, I blink vehemently to push them away. I don't want to cry. Not now. That'll come later, when I can no longer see him.

"Let me know when you have a holiday in spring, I'll try to come over."

I nod, afraid my voice will break when I speak.

The train rolls into the station and all around us, people get off and on.

When Sorley really can't linger any longer, he lets me go, gives me one last kiss on the lips and gets on board.

"I'm going to miss you."

The door closes in front of him and I wave. I walk next to the leaving train. Then I'm running. And then the platform ends, but he's already gone, because the train is faster than my legs. My eyes mist over, but I sniff loudly a few times and rub my tears away.

"I'll miss you too", I whisper into the void. My shoulders drop.

One whole day, twenty four hours I have to wait before I can see him again. And then we only have the moments inside the book. The moment before I go to sleep. In the middle of the day for him. Falling asleep together is out of the question for now.

While I leave the station – the ticket I bought especially so I could stay with him till the very last moment, I turn into a paper ball and throw away – I notice something changing inside me. With every breath I take, my resolve to spend my future with Sorley strengthens. Somehow I've already made the decision to not stay in the Netherlands. Which means I have to do my utmost in English, because from now on, that's my most important subject.

---

Time passes slowly during brakes and moments I have nothing to do. And so I fill those moments with studying and reading. Everything I can find about schools in America, educations, social cultures. Isla lets me be. She knows what I do it for, because she is the only one I confide in.