The whispers of our past《Yizhan version》

Chapter 5 (part 1)

Xiao Zhan's POV

The silence was all that embraced me while I walked into the abandoned forest with each of my footsteps echoing, accompanied by a soft flutter of wind dancing through my hair like flames creeping up a house.

Before I met him I would fall all the time, life always tripped me in any possible way, the night I met him I had hit the ground again, with darkness, my old friend, embracing me when I asked myself what the point was of standing up again if you had nothing to stand up for until fate decided to hit in.

Sometimes fate took the biggest plot twist at the time we expect it the least, but in the end, it's the twist which keeps the story interesting as a voice somewhere in the deep back of my mind had once said, I do not remember to whom the voice belonged, but I don't think that mattered too.

"Why are you here?" The voice was light with yet a sharp edge like a knife, while I took a deep breath, remembering the dagger that he had held against my throat one year ago, and the weird thing was I didn't feel afraid by the memory, it almost seemed like a sparkle ran down my spine by the remembrance, I knew he wasn't bad, he just seemed protective over something or maybe a particular someone even.

The words were there before I had thought about it, and the sentences slipped from my tongue as if I was made to say it, "psychology says, always go with the choice that scares you the most because that's the one that is going to help you grow," my voice echoed throughout the silence while a cold shiver creeping down my spine, but I kept my chin high up, even though I had no idea where the other person was standing, it was as if this place was a maze of illusions.

A soft ruffle filled the atmosphere before a few delicate feathered words went to my ear like the whisper of the wind, "some people are just born with tragedy in their blood," and he was gone, I could feel it hanging in the air without realizing it; almost like a sixth sense.

For a second the silence came back, but it wasn't a bad one, it felt somewhat safe before I realized someone was watching me, I turned around and saw him sitting on the tree being lit by the moonlight as if he was on fire, and sparkles were flying away from his eyes, and like always he had held up a facade.

Only one thing popped up in my mind, one question that was nagging at me while I watched him smile softly down at me, different from the person I remembered he was at our first meeting, he wasn't scary at all, he was just "different".

"D-Do you ever think about . . ." My voice grew down into the silence while the last dark world escaped my mouth before I had the chance to stop it, "dead . . . ?" After all, the people living in this forest had the eternal life, but wouldn't that be like a living prison? To live forever in one place and not be able to see the outside world ever again . . . ?

He chuckled faintly before switching his position, letting his legs bungle down from the high tree while his whole body was turned to me, his eyes burned into mine while he slowly spoke up in a soft icy tone, "I think about dying, but I don't want to die, not even close to it, in fact, my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, no I want to escape I feel trapped, bored and claustrophobic here in this place," he waved with his hands around the forest while his eyes didn't let go of mine, "there's too much to see outside there, too much to do outside there, and yet I find myself here, doing nothing at all, I'm still in this my bubble of existence. And I can't quite figure out what the hell I am doing here or how I can ever get out of here, so here I am, not living nor dead, just-" his voice went down, almost as soft as the whispers of the wind next to my skin, "just existing . . ."

I found myself nodding at his words, knowing where he was talking about, I was neither living nor dead, I was holding my breath, waiting for something, anything to happen, my days passed in silence, there was nothing I lived for, I was just waiting for days to go by, holding my breath, scared to let them know I breathe because when you breathe you're living, and once they know you're alive, they eventually will find a way to hurt you with it.