The whispers of our past《Yizhan version》

Chapter 3 (part 1)

"I've never believed that beauty could exist in self-destruction,

Then I saw you.

And your eyes told stories with dangerous beginnings and lost endings, where every page was breathing with colour.

Yes, you were beautiful to me . . ." 

***

Xiao Zhan's POV

This time I knew that it wasn't the sound of a crow that lured me to this deserted forest. It was my heart that won over my brain leading me here, and this time it was a choice rather like the first time.

Until the next time, just like I promised.

I breathed in deeply counting to ten before exhaling out again. One step followed by a second, accompanied by a third and a fourth one replacing over the fifth, my feet guided me while my mind followed.

The feeling of emptiness grew inside me while just like the first time I lost track of time. I walked for ages until I lost the course of where I came from, but the difference from the first time was this time it was on purpose.

My feet kept dragging me deeper into the darkness while I tried looking around me. It was dark and hard to see anything, and still, I kept trying.

It was as if everywhere I looked shadows were hidden behind those trees, and I hid deeper inside my turtle neck, seeking warmth on this cold night that felt endless.

The farther I went into the silence, the deeper the darkness engulfed around me, while there was still no trace of a living human in this sacred place.

The pain in my arm increased and I felt the stinging as if someone was carving something on my arm with a sharp knife, right on my veins, some small black dots appeared in front of my eyes when a voice brought me back to reality. 

"Are you here to cause trouble again?" I slowly turned around and at that moment he stepped away from the trees that hid him away from my sight.

He smiled at me while slowly getting a hand through his blue hair. His hair was the sort of blue that reminded me of the sky, just moments before it started pouring rain.

"You know that staring at someone like that can be seen as rude?" I averted my gaze looking down to my shoes, which were long gone damaged. In the dim night sky illuminated by the moon, it was almost invisible.

"Why are you here?" His tone was soft as if he was scared that I would be blown over by a slight breeze. I couldn't contain myself from letting a small smile creep its way up towards my lips while still looking down at my shoes.

"Now you're here anyway, I guess you may have some spare time to spend for me because after all without me you would have been lost the first time already." A small teasing undertone in his voice made me look up at him right into his eyes. There were only a few centimetres of space left between us, I could feel his soft tickling breath against my skin, and his eyes locked with mine for an endless second.

"I-" The words were stuck inside my throat just like the times before, what was even my reason to come here?

This time it was not the crying crow whom I could blame, and he and I both knew, but then why did I even come here in the first place?

After a long silence, he shrugged nonchalantly, slowly stepping back away from me, but still, our eyes were locked, and I felt how the belt around my chest tightening until I wasn't able to breathe anymore, the pain on my arms faded for a second while silence enveloped.