Dippers pov
"Oh Gravity Falls it is good to be back!" Fuck I'm suddenly regretting this, why did I summon him again?
"Well well well, if it isn't Pinetree."
"Hi Bill." I sighed, I can't believe I'm doing this, the family is going to kill me. "I want to make a deal."
Bill looked shocked, or at least as shocked as a demon triangle could look. Suddenly he started laughing, I hate his laugh.
"And what would that be?" The tone of his voice made me sick, I know this isn't a good idea, but I don't have any other choice. Even though this was the case, it doesn't make it any easier to say.
"Well, spit it out kid I don't have all day." He pulled out a pocket watch indicating he was getting bored.
"Fine. I-I need you to pretend..." I really didn't want so say it, it's so embarrassing.
"What? Kid I'm just going to leave if you're going to waste my time."
"I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend!" I got out, and from the amused look I got from Bill and the heat from my cheeks I know I was beet red. He began laughing again, so hard he started flipping.
"Pinetree... what?..." He could barely speak through the laughter. This was getting annoying.
"I came out to my family a few months ago, and since then Mabel has been forcing me to go on dates with every guy in town. The last one wasn't even gay!" Dipper explained, only causing more laughter to erupt from Bill.
"Anyway!" Dipper yelled over his laughing. "I just need you to fake date me for a few days, break up with me so I can act heart broken, and Mabel will stop trying to set me up. We'll just say I've been secretly dating you for months or something." Bills laughter slowly died down, he wiped away a fake tear and got in a sitting position mid air.
"And why me? Besides the obvious reason that I'm better than any human and far more worth your time." I rolled my eyes, he couldn't really think he was that great could he? How shallow can a demon be?
"Any other options I have I've already been on a terrible date with or they won't help me. And Grunkle Ford and I found out you're less powerful now so I figured I wouldn't be bringing on the end of times with this deal.
"Who says I'm less powerful? I could kill you where you stand if I wanted to." The threat sent a small shiver down my spine, but I knew he was bluffing or he would've done it.
"If you really had as much power as you did before, I'd be in the middle of Weirdmageddon 2. Which I'm not. Now can we get back to the deal?" Even if this works I don't know how I'm going to handle Bill for a few days.
"Alright, I'll do it." He agreed??
"Wait, just like that? You'll do it?"
"Yeah, sounds fun. But I do have to change one thing." Uh-oh, here's where he takes it to a whole other level.
"Which is...?"
"I'm not breaking up with you."
Wait what?
What does he mean he's not breaking up with me? Do I have to break up with him?
How can I play the heartbreak angle?
"The nightmare realm is boring, I want to stay here." Bill said.
"That's not happening." No way am I letting a demon stay in our realm.
"Well, good luck on your next date then!" He was about to snap his fingers to leave. Shit.
"Ok fine! I'll consider it. But what's your plan?" I shouldn't have asked that. Bill clapped his little hands and, what I could only describe as a sort of happy emotion, was displayed on his face.
"I'll need a human form of course, easy enough. And you're going to teach me human things! In return I'll pretend to be your boyfriend." Bill explained.
"Why can't we fake break up and I still help you?"
"Because it's wishful thinking if you believe Shooting Star is just going to stop making you go on dates afterwards, and if you're on dates then you're not going to have time to help me." He's right, she'd just try harder and I already barely have time to myself, unless I'm sleeping.
"Fuck." I sighed, I can't believe I got myself into this. "Ok... Deal." I held out my hand and his erupted in blue flames. I know they never hurt, but there's always that lingering thought that someday it will.
Slowly, I brought my hand up to his and we shook. A bright light flashed and for a moment I couldn't see anything.
When I opened my eyes all the color had returned to my room. I looked down at my hand and saw another one holding it, except it wasn't Bills normal pipe cleaner hand, it was human.
I looked up at the owner of the hand and in Bills place was a boy about 19 years of age. He was wearing light blue jeans and a yellow hoodie, his eyes, or eye, was as blue as Bills fire and his hair was as golden as if the sun was shining on it.
He looked around his body and then around the room before his eyes landed on me. He grinned.
"Hey Pinetree! How's my human form?" He removed his hand from mine and gestured to his body. I couldn't believe this was Bill, he was insanely attractive for a human dorito.
Is this even fair?
Or accurate?
My family would never believe I'm dating someone this hot!
He waved his hand in front of my face and I realized I've been staring at him the entire time, the red color returned to my cheeks, this time reaching my ears.
"Pinetree? Your gay is showing." Bill laughed at his own joke but I only got more red and looked away.
"S-so w-whats the p-plan?" Fuck my stutter is back.
"I don't know, this was your idea." I rolled my eyes, there's the Bill I know and hate.
"Um, I guess I'll just introduce you to my family and we'll take it from there?" Bill shrugged but didn't disagree, so I guess we're doing that.
"Oh, and lose the eye patch, that's a little on the nose don't you think?" He rolled his eye but with a snap of his fingers the eyepatch was gone, revealing his perfectly normal eye. He blinked a few times before getting used to it, then smiled when he did, how did he get even more attractive without the eye patch??
"I have things to take care of, I'll be at your door in an hour to meet your family." He explained.
"Ok... just don't kill anyone!" He grinned and walked up to me taking a hold of my shoulders.
"Relax." He said as he kissed my cheek "I'll be back in an hour. Bye babe!" And with that he disappeared. He just fucking kissed my cheek and disappeared like that was nothing.
My face got hot again. What did I just get myself into?
