It Has Always Been You

Chapter Extra 3

The intense air pressure from the incoming planes and the familiar scent of disinfectant took over my senses as I stood in the side of the road. Even during night-time, there are still people bustling in and out of the airport. I pulled our strollers close, taking my coat off to loosen the buttons of my shirt.

The cold chill immediately crept up my arms. 'I think it's going to snow soon.' I breathed out, fogging my glasses in the process. I crossed my arms to my chest as I turn over the long line in the taxi lane, the cold air still looming over my skin.

I sighed and smiled while recalling the words that I first thought were just drunk talk:

"It's my turn to surprise you next."
"We're going to see them..."

I hanged my coat on my arm before rummaging through my pockets, pulling out my sunglasses, while keeping my fogged glasses in my other pocket. I never really thought he would actually do this. I snuggled unto myself then I smiled at the guy who I saw walking to my direction, his phone on his ear with two cans of coffee on his hand. 'So this is what he meant?' I thought, waving my hand to him.

So why are we here anyway?

A few weeks ago, I brought Win back to my home. It was a shotgun decision in my part but I originally planned to take it slow. I wanted to ask Win about it and prepare ourselves for whatever may happen – in case.

In my side, my family already know Win. They've met him before during family gatherings and everytime I invite him home for dinner. But that's the end of it – our relationship was platonic, in their eyes, our relationship is nothing more than that of a 'phi-nong' type of relationsip. For a long time, I wanted to change that.

But because of his suggestions, I agreed to keep our relationship a secret – not only to my parents but to everyone.

And that was probably because I didn't have the idea what was going on his head. I was just blindly agreeing to him without even asking him how he feels about it; turns out that he was in pain and I didn't know about it until so late.

I wanted to change that.

It may sound insensitive to my part to do things without telling him but I just can't keep on looking at him with a sad look in his eyes. He might sound and look happy whenever we are together, but if I didn't give him the assurance he needs, this problem will always haunt us. For me, it's the only way I could help him – at least I thought.

I never knew it would go so well. I was sure that my mom would feel bad, at least. I mean, her only son is hitting on with a guy – the guy they believed to be their son's nong in the university for the longest time.

Win was always anxious. I don't want to sound condescending but he just loves me too much and because he does, he blames himself that I got lost along the way – which was technically wrong; I fell in love with him in my own volition and being with him was my decision, but even though that was the case – his assurance was very low, to top off, his childhood trauma.

So when everyone gave us their blessings, I felt as if something heavy has been lifted out from my chest.

And I'm thankful he did. Finally.

For Win, however, even though he's not telling me anything ... I know that his problem lies within his roots - probably in his family. But I don't want to force him to do anything with it. I was fine with what we have. It was supposed to be okay just that – because we were happy anyway. But I could not deny the fact that there's a part of me that wishes to meet with them – talk to them and make them understand. That Win is the most precious thing on Earth and I'm here to treasure him. That they just have to accept him. But I don't want him to feel uncomfortable.