It Has Always Been You

Chapter 05

The moment he stepped out of the door, the dream ended. It's 40 degrees outside but I feel different inside. The chill of cold air crept through my skin in this hot, sweltering weather. Once again, I was alone in a room full of nothing but a memory. A memory that haunts me every night I sleep. A memory that I am desperately hold on to. The memory when there was me and him.

My heart swells with the memories every corner brought, the familiar scent of his mint cigarettes, his familiar musk scent, his sweet lips, the pressure from his large, soft hands - I felt like everything is coming back, then in reality it is not. The torture that I'm supposed to hate ends up becoming a drug I can't get away from; a drug I'm addicted to, a drug I cannot seem to let go. And just like a real one, I'm longing for more every day.

I walked back inside and sat in the living room scanning the whole place. Just as I thought, it was just a normal apartment. I sighed and fixed my eyes in the television set in front, staring at my reflection from the screen. I honestly look horrible.

It's probably because of being sleep deprived. As a writer, I am expected to submit a manuscript before the deadline and for that reason I haven't really been sleeping or eating at the right time these past few days.

Just when I was thinking on taking a break 'that' happened. But then again, I guess it was a blessing in disguise. Finally, P'Bright can rethink everything and now has a chance of living a normal life, and in return I can wallow myself in work and divert my feelings in writing.

'But even so, at least let me admire you from afar.' I sighed, closing my eyes, my hand finding its way to my chest – to the ring in my chest. 'You'll let me do that, right?'

Wait. I heaved a long inhale as I clenched on the ring harder before abruptly opening my eyes as I jumped from the couch, standing up. I feel like there's something wrong ... something is missing. What is it?

I flipped the cushions in the couch and rummaged through the books in the coffee table when I saw my fingers. That thing that was missing...

Where's ... my ring?

I made a mess in living room; I flipped the carpet up-side-down, I threw the throw pillows anywhere, I even checked under the sofa.

Not here. I frowned, one hand on my waist and the other on my cupping forehead. I finally walked to the bed room and inspected the place, trying to recall if I took it off when I took a bath the morning before. Damn it, I can't remember! I exasperatedly ran my fingers through my hair and threw the folded clothes away from the bed.

Not here either. I cursed.

I heaved a deep sigh as I frantically searched for my ring.

The ring that hanged on my neck was Bright's. And I need my own ring.

It's mine. I need it.

🐺🐰🐺🐰

I heard the bell rang. It was too loud that it echoed throughout the house; as if it was on a megaphone. Slowly, I opened my eyes, yawning, and immediately stretched my arms up. I sat up and looked around.

I was in the floor of my room, lying flat over the clothes I made a mess of the night before. I did not realize it but I fell asleep half-way. It was probably because I was too tired that I did.

I felt my head throb that prompted me to massage it a bit before standing straight up.

I marched to the door.