Destined

2. Restless

I stopped out of breath in front of the double oak doors and slid inside the library craving something to distract me. I perused the shelves but many of the books I had read over the months had limited my options. I was not tired, just restless. My hand stopped over a book I was certain I never saw in the library before I left or returned home. It had a dark spine and ratty on the corners of the book's length. I plucked it from the shelf and opened it up.

The door opened behind me, but my eyes remained fixed on the book. I read the cover page and my eyes widened at the shock of what was written in ink. It read: To Jaiden Romero, I leave all my knowledge and pray this guide him on the path he desires. With dearest wishes, Judas Burtrand. My shoulders relaxed and leaned against the bookshelf while I held the book open.

"Kid, you never answered what was wrong with you?" Zelme followed me but I lowered my book and sat myself at the table.

"Damn, why did he go to the isles for me when he knew this would happen?" I slammed the book on the table. "I hardly knew him, but he helped me get stronger. He died for me and I can't even begin to understand what he was thinking."

I heard Zelme sighed and sat across from me. "None of us saw it coming, kid. He probably did not want you mourning him forever, so what is going on right now? There is nothing happening in the past two months that should make you so alert."

I glanced over at Zelme and his eyes widened. "That is the problem nothing. It feels strange to not do anything to help anyone, but I get this feeling something is coming." I pushed the book across the table to him. "Looks like Judas left one more surprise for me, his knowledge."

Zelme opened the book and his eyes immediately glanced back up. "It's blank, kid."

I scowled. "No, it's," I stopped short to notice the text had vanished. "But I saw it, it read like he wrote his last will in that book."

"Kid, not to be nosy, I know you are struggling. It was the same for me when I lost her. Sleep was the last thing on my mind, and I searched for every opportunity to shove away the truth."

I shook my head. "This isn't about his death dammit!" I grabbed the book. "You aren't listening."

"Oh, I am. Your breath gives it away every time, you still blame yourself." Zelme got my attention and not in a good way. "Saying the opposite of how you feel is contradictory, kid. I got you home, but you still look lost."

"That is because you always constantly tell me I am not giving my all, but I have." My voice cut out when I saw Artemis and the others eavesdropping. I got up from the table. "All of you intrude like you know what I am dealing with, but what got into me when I fought with Ravela was the part I feared. Like I was turning into him by wiping him from this world. I don't want this power because I want to destroy so many things, that is what is wrong with me."

They all came in. I turned my back.

"I feel like one of the monsters slowly awakening to violent tendencies. I love to battle, but what I want to destroy is myself."

"No," Artemis interjected. "Idiot, no monster lives inside you."

"What makes you so sure, miss shifter?" I glared at her and she stiffened. "For so long, I knew something dangerous lurks inside me whenever I get furious."

"Jaiden, do you hear yourself?" Kay started but my eyes tore away.

"That was what you saw when I tore Ravela from this world. You are a hypocrite when you and Simon got mad at me for gutting the guy." I spun around to feel Artemis's hand slap me hard across the jaw.