Poems of Them

Reflecting Glass

Who did you see when you looked into the mirror in 2015?
I saw a person.
Determination in their eyes, dressed in wear only fit for ballet.
The dream of them so close to grasp.
They had been dreaming of it for so long.
Becoming a dancer was exactly that.
They wanted to go to that school, wanted to be what they dreamed of every single night.
Their eyes sparkled in determination.
A smile grazing their face.
They were so sure of them going to that ballet school.

Who did you see when you looked into the mirror in 2017?
I saw a person.
Eyes shattered and crushed- like a glass that was nothing more but nothing.
Shards too small to ever hurt somebody, making their eyes dull.
Their dream was just as crushed, pitifully being dragged after that person as they refused to let it go.
They clung onto it, not knowing what else to do.
They had already left childhood with eleven.
They didn't do much anymore.
Just staring at animated characters, hoping to find some sort of meaning between the lines.
But someone that doesn't feel can't read emotion well.
Their eyes were dull, nothing moving on their face.
Their dream had been crushed.

Who did you see when you looked into the mirror in 2018?
I saw a person.
Too thin to be considered healthy.
Too tired to be still up and going.
Too sad to be still smiling.
Their eyes were nothing but shards, getting everyone close to them hurt. Pushing them away.
They did not want to hurt anybody. But what else could it have been to drive everyone away?
They were alone on breaks, alone at their house, alone in the studio they considered home.
They clung onto their dream, even though shattered. They tried finding meaning in it, trying to still somehow make it possible. Make it come true.
But they did not have the power to do so.
Their eyes were like shards, getting everyone to back off.
Because what else could have been the reason as to why they were alone?

Who did you see when you looked into the mirror in 2019?
I saw a person.
They had given up.
They had tried finding a different meaning, only to be told off in whatever they tried to pursue.
They were alone, no one talked to them anymore.
Not a single soul.
They started trying to talk to others again, but weren't let in.
They tried finding love in others but were only betrayed.
They gave up on the people they had known for so long.
They turned their back to those that had for so long not looked their way anymore.
They cut their ties. Maybe that was a good decision.
They didn't get hurt by others anymore.
Only by themselves.

Who did you see when you looked into the mirror in 2020?
I saw something.
Something that didn't want to give up while at the same time not being able to take it all anymore.
Something that tried to look for the love that had betrayed it so many times before.
But then Love came looking for it.
Maybe it wasn't even love. But it hoped it was.
Something did not want to give up even though it had nothing but a pet holding it back from jumping.
Maybe, if it had done it sooner it would have been safe from everything that hurt it.
Maybe.
But then it might have not tried working harder to fight back for the right to dream.
It still wasn't sure if they were allowed to dream again, but it tried.
Even after even the slightest bit of strength it had held with the pen disappeared.
It fought.
It worked.
And it forgot what it really was.
That's why it was just something.
It wasn't a person anymore.
It was just something.
But maybe a bit of humanity had returned by the end of the year.
Maybe it could restart.

Who do I see when I look into the mirror right now?
I see... something for sure.
Untameable hair that starts going grey at the age of almost 15.
Petite facial features even without being cared for.
Bulky arms that just don't fit its frame.
Eyes that seem almost ghost like.
But sometimes those eyes ignite to be a spark of light.
A small firework that the host is so afraid of.
An array of colour, swirls, and sparks, and lights, and beams.
Too bad that this doesn't happen often. It's really beautiful when it does.
But it doesn't happen often.
But maybe it happens often enough?
That's what the host is trying to figure out right now.
Is it enough to live on with?
Goals rejected.
Dreams crushed.
Hopes surreal.
Happiness in the hands of someone else.
Is it worth it?
It might be.
But it might also be the only ground to stand on in this battle.
And something that was pushed aside by others, crushed by others, stays by someone else and isn't even real in the first place is hard ground to stand upon.
Maybe the question shouldn't be if it's worth it but if it's even doable.
But that host already decided upon that.
But is it worth it?