Angel and Devil

Dark Secret

We remained silence, staring at each other for a while. It was very dark in here. I could barely see John’s face. I could only see with the weak light coming from the outside.
“So—” I broke the silence first, not being able to bear it anymore.
“Before I say anything, I have to thank you first,” John interrupted, “Thanks for saving me tonight.”
“No problem,” I smiled small, “Anyone would have done it.”
“No one’s going to stand out and help me,” John shook his head, “That Bill’s too much a violent guy.”
“So he’s called Bill?”
“Yeah, famous for his muscles,”
“Then why did you let his girl kiss you?” I asked, remembering the scene. My heart kind of broke when I said that.
“We didn’t kiss,” John said, taking me by surprise, “We almost. I was so occupied with my thoughts that I didn’t notice, until I felt her so close to me.”
I felt relief rushed through me. “Why didn’t you tell Bill then?” I asked.
“I tried to, but he wouldn’t listen, I mean he did everything however he liked,”
“What a bully!”
“Yeah,”
Then we fell silent again.
“So,” John began after a long while, “Why are you following me?”
“I—” I tried to explain, but could not find the words, “I heard you going out and I was curious.”
“How did you go there?” I saw his eyebrow move, “I thought you didn’t own a car.”
“I actually own one now,” I tried to cover up, “I’ve decided to get my old one back, although I was planning for a fresh start. I didn’t feel like buying another car. It arrived yesterday evening, when you were out.”
“So you knew I was out yesterday?”
“Yes,”
“But how about your car?”
“Forget it, it doesn’t matter,”
“I’m sorry,” he sounded sad.
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault,” I assured him.
“It is. I’m so sorry,”
“Cut it, John, it’s NOT your fault; you didn’t want it to happen, do you?”
“Alright,” he gave up apologizing.
“But I do have one question,” I said, “Why are you there at the pub? You don’t seem like the kind of person to do something like that.”
“You don’t know me. I’m not a good person,”
“You are a truly kind person in your heart. I can tell it,”
“No, I’m not. I’m a bad guy. I’m sorry that you have wasted so much time on me. You don’t deserve a friend like this,”
“What are you talking about? You are one of the nicest people I’ve ever met!” I exclaimed.
“You don’t know how bad I am,”
“Then tell me,” I challenged him.
“No,”
“Tell me what’s with the girls you brought home,” I went straight to the point, as I was sure he would not tell me anything if we went on like this.
John became quiet when he heard that. All I could hear was our breathing.
“That’s why you shouldn’t be friends with me,” John finally said, “You don’t deserve someone like this.”
“Why?”
“You wouldn’t want to know,”
“I want to,”
“No,”
“Who are they? Did you meet them from the clubs?”
John did not reply. That meant they were from the clubs.
“Why did you bring them home? What did you do?” I pressed.
“Why would you care!”
“Because…” I took a deep breath, “Because I love you! I care about you!” That was quite true actually. The jealousy I had before had told me I had had a major crush on John. And I did really care about him, at least as a friend. I knew I should not form bonds with human here, but I just could not help it.
John did not say anything.
“So what now? Are you going to tell me? Or I’m going,” I threatened.
“You should go,” John whispered, “You shouldn’t be friends with me. I’m no good to you.”
“John,” I spoke softly, “Please, tell me, I truly care about you, I want to know what’s going on.”
John sighed. “They… They are actually just some random girls I met,” he began, “I had lost my aim in my life since my parents… Abandoned me. They said they’re too busy to care about me. That’s why I moved out.
“I can’t focus on my life since then. I may seem normal and happy, but deep inside, I feel very lonely. And I started to go to pubs and get wasted, hook on some girls, and just enjoy the rush of happiness.
“You see, I’ve been with quite a number of girls and I’m such a bad guy. A nice girl like you shouldn’t come close to me. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry again,” I whispered, feeling sad for him, “You did nothing wrong. Anyone would have done that. To me, you’re amazing, funny, caring—”
I got stopped in the middle of the sentence by John’s sudden kiss.
I froze in my position, shocked. I could not move, and John just kept kissing me with so much passion. His lips moved against mine expertly, and he slowly reached out his hands to cradle my face. His right thumb softly caressed my face, and his left hand slid pass my neck, my shoulder, my arm, down my waist, and he stopped there. I began to relax, and closed my eyes to enjoy the kiss. I kissed him back.
I could feel John smiling against my lips. His left hand reached behind my back, pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck securely, and ran my hand in his hair. John could sense that I was starting to get into the kiss, so he traced my lower lip with his tongue. This kiss got more and more intense.
John put both his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back towards the window. He climbed onto my seat, and hovered over me on his knees. He broke the kiss for a moment.
“Sorry for scaring you,” John chuckled against my lips, “How’s your first kiss?”
“Amazing,” I smiled.
Our lips met again; it was getting more and more steamy. John pushed my jacket down my shoulders, and my heart felt like it was going to jump out. I could not believe I was doing this. But I just could not stop; I was trapped in John’s passion.
I struggled out of my jacket, and threw it onto the floor. John also stripped out of his jacket and shirt, leaving him shirtless. I traced my hand down his abs, and unbuttoned his pants. He shivered with pleasure, then took off my top and made me go into the back seats. He joined me, and we quickly helped each other to undress.
I lost my first kiss and virginity at the same night.