Angel and Devil

Promises

I opened the car door with shaky hands and got into the passenger seat. I looked down at my laps, hoping that John would not be mad at me. I heard that boys could get scary when they got jealous.
“(Yn)?” John said, emotionless.
I did not reply.
“(Yn),” John said, and sighed, holding my chin and made me look at him, “What are you thinking right now?”
I still remained silent.
“Please, say something,” John half begged, “You’re worrying me.”
I sighed, “John, are you mad at me?”
He blinked. I waited for his reply.
“Why should I be mad?” he asked finally.
“Kyle…” I said.
“(Yn),” John said seriously, “It’s not your fault that Kyle likes you. You’re an amazing girl, how can guys not be attracted to you?”
“John,”
“I’m serious,” he said, looking me deep in the eyes, “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.”
“Don’t hate on yourself, please,” I whispered, “I love you.”
“Love you too,” he smiled, “But (Yn)…”
“What is it, John?” he seemed hesitant.
“Can you promise me something?”
“Of course, what is it?”
“I know this is selfish, but I really don’t like you being with Kyle,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows, “I know you deserve someone better than me, and maybe he’s right for you, I don’t know, but… I really hate seeing you with other guys, and to me he’s looking at you like you belong to him… But you’re mine… Can you promise me not to see him? Or at least let me know.”
“John…” his speech just gave me butterflies, for goodness sake, he just called me his!
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound selfish, but—”
I stopped him with a kiss, “John, you don’t have to be sorry, I’m more than glad to be yours,” I whispered against his lips.
“Thank you, (Yn),” he breathed, “For being here. Since your appearance, my life has become so much better.”
But still not entirely on track, I thought to myself, or else I would be gone by now, “I should be the one saying thank you, for everything, you’re the most important person to me right now,” I said.
John chuckled, “Shall we go back?”
“Sure,” I put my hand on top of his, which was on my thigh, as he was driving with one hand.
We small talked on the way. It felt really peaceful, and happiness filled every single spot in my body. I hope this would never come to an end, but I just could not be so self-centered and not help John to recover completely…
We arrived home, and John walked me to my door.
“Want to come in?” I turned around after I had unlocked the door, and asked, not wanting to say goodbye yet.
“Okay,” John walked up the stairs of my porch, and kissed my nose, “I will stay as long as you want me around.”
We cuddled on the sofa and watched movie. I curled myself up, leaning my head on John’s chest, with his arms wrapping around me.
It was getting late, and it seemed to have become colder. I snuggled closer to John, breathing in his nice scent. I sighed; John tightened his arms around me, and rubbed my arms mindlessly.
“I love you, (Yn),” John suddenly whispered, and kissed the top of my head.
“I love you too,” I replied, my eyelids drooping. I yawned, and the next thing I knew, I was dreaming.
In my dream, I dreamed that John and I were running around on a meadow, laughing carelessly. John grabbed me from behind and we rolled on the grass. John held me close to his chest, then got up again, running away from me, his laughter echoing in the forest-bounded meadow.
I quickly got to my feet and chased after him, but it seemed like I could not carry my legs fast enough; they felt so heavy.
Suddenly, the earth before me cracked with a loud noise. I quickly halted my run, and John turned around with a sad expression. The gap on the ground between me and John was becoming wider and wider, which made the ground shake like crazy with a scary noise. I fell to the ground, and crawled towards the gap. I looked down and my eyes widened with shock – the hole was so deep that you could not see the bottom; all you could see was darkness. I fell back a few steps away from the hole, and looked up to see John smiling at me bitterly.
“John!” I cried, reaching out my arms helplessly.
“Bye, (Yn),” John said, looking like a sad angel.
“JOHN! NOOO!” I shouted desperately, and suddenly a force pushed me towards the hole, making me fall into it. John peeked over the edge, mouthing goodbye to me. I cried and shouted, waving my arms and legs frantically. John’s face became smaller and smaller, and finally I could see him no more; all I could see was a spot of light.
“JOHN!” I yelled once more, before shooting my eyes open.
“(Yn)!” John’s face was right in front of me, and I could feel his hot breath on my face. He was hovering over me with a worried expression. I quickly sat up, throwing my arms around his neck, choking him.
“It’s alright, it’s alright,” John patted my back soothingly, and kissed my cheek, “I’m here, it’s just a bad dream.”
“John,” I was so emotional at that moment, before I knew it, tears started to trickle down my face.
“It’s okay,” John whispered again, hugging me tighter.
“Don’t ever leave me, okay?” I sobbed into his neck.
“(Yn)?” John sounded a bit shocked, and held me at arm’s length, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just a nightmare,” I said, “Just don’t leave me, okay? I’m so scared of losing you.”
“I promise,” John wiped my tears away with his thumb, and hugged me again.
I realized we were on my bed. I guess John had carried me up into my room when I had fallen asleep. I was glad that he had not gone back to his house, or I would panic so much when I woke up to an empty bed.
I tried to keep my breathing steady. A couple of minutes later, John whispered, “Do you want some water? You have been yelling my name over and over,”
I blushed, and I was glad that the room was dark right now, so he probably could not see. That must be embarrassing – me shouting his name like a crazy person.
“Yes, please,” I replied anyway. My throat was kind of dry.
“Wait here, okay? I’ll be back in a minute,” John said before getting up. He seemed worried that I was still occupied by my nightmare that having him away would send me into another screaming fit.
“Okay,” I tried to keep my voice calm, as I was still shaking slightly.
I stayed in my position, waiting for John to get back.
At last John came back with a glass of water in his hand. I drowned it eagerly, and flopped down onto the bed.
“Better?” John asked.
“Yes, thank you,” I said, pulling him down. He wrapped his arms around me.
“What was your nightmare about?” John asked curiously, “Do you mind telling me?”
“It’s just a stupid one,” I replied.
“Hmm,”
“Alright,” I began, “I just dreamed that you had left me.”
John did not say anything for a minute.
“You’re so silly (Yn), you know I’m not leaving you,” he finally said, “I just hope that you wouldn’t regret being with me. As I’ve said, I’m not that good.”
I grasped on John’s shirt tightly, “You’re not going anywhere,”
“Okay okay, as long as you want me,”
“Then prepare yourself to be stuck with me forever,”
I leaned my face up to kiss John, and we made out for a good couple of minutes. Finally I pulled away, feeling sleepy again.
“Goodnight, John,”
“Goodnight (Yn),” he said, kissing my forehead.
The next thing I knew was opening my eyes to my bright bedroom. Sunlight spilled into my room from the gaps between the curtains and the windows. I shielded my eyes from the light, because my eyes were still sensitive to even a tiny bit of light as I had just woken up.
I waited for my eyes to adjust to the new sensation, then heard my phone vibrate on the bedside table. I reached out my hand to grab the phone, and there was a text message from Kyle.
“Hey, come and meet me at the park today, okay?” he wrote.
I stared at the screen like I could not understand English. I had promised John not to see him. I could maybe go if I told him, but I knew that would just hurt him, and I knew if I did not tell him but secretly meet up with Kyle, it would be worse.
I debated with myself on what I should do. I replied him at the end.
“Okay, but just a short one, deal?” I typed.
A few seconds later, the phone lit up again.
“Okay! See you at 1:30!”
I sighed. I thought I should not tell John, seeing that it would be a short meeting.
I put my phone back onto the table, and turned around to see John sleeping like an innocent child. I felt so bad hiding secrets from him.