I Try To Picture Me Without You But I Can't

Part One

"Tadashi!" I c-can help you!" I shout to him, he is standing in the fire. Looking straight into my eyes. "It's your fault." Tadashi says in a haunted voice.

"It's your fault."

     

                                                  "It's your fault!"

             "IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

                  IT'S YOUR FAULT.
IT'S MY FAULT.
IT'S MY FAULT!

"It's my fault." I jolt up awake, I feel a tear sting my cheeks. I must not cry. I must not.

I sit up from my bed and start scratching at my nappy hair. I stretch out into a yawn, I stare at Baymax's little red case he is in. "Ow." I mumble, the big huggable robot comes out. "Hello, I am Baymax your personal healthcare companion. What seems to be the problem, Hiro?" He asks blinking his two dot eyes. "Nothing buddy, just wanted a lollipop." I state rubbing my eyes.

"Scanning..." Baymax states. "Baymax, please stop." I mumble. "Scan complete. You seem to be fine but your hormones and depression have kicked in." Baymax states looking at me. " I know Baymax, I know." I sighed, I didn't bother to shower. I know I have depression, it's not as bad as it used to be but is still here. I don't know what to do about it, so I just don't do anything.

I put on my regular outfit, my red shirt with a robot on it, my khakis and my navy blue hoodie. "I'm satisfied with my care." I say to Baymax, even though I didn't get my lollipop. I walk down the stairs, Aunt Cass wasn't in the kitchen so she is probably opening the restaurant. She usually is in the kitchen if it isn't a busy morning. But she always leaves breakfast out, I take a good look at it. It is eggs and bacon. I didn't have an appetite so I just threw it away. I didn't feel like seeing Aunt Cass, so I went out through the garage.

It was a nice morning, there was a nice breeze but it was still warm. I took in all of the sights. The snow blanketed on the sidewalk and roads. The trees didn't have leaves but the icicles on the ends of the branches made it look pretty. The untouched snow on top of the roofs. It was pretty, it was probably all gonna melt soon today since of how warm it is.

I see the SFIT college school up ahead, where I also see my friends. Honey Lemon was taking a selfie with Wasabi, Fred was scaring all the pigeon away and Go Go was... with a girl. She looked to be my age, she has beautiful H/C hair, sparking E/C eyes and a contagious smile on her face. I shook my head, I don't care about girls or... love. I never had and never will. I continued walking towards my friends. Thankfully when I came up, that girl had seemed to have walked away.

"Who's that?" I couldn't help asking. "She is a friend's cousin." Go Go states popping her bubble gum. Honey Lemon then comes up to me. "She is really cool! Y/N is a fourteen year old prodigy too! You should meet her!" Honey Lemon squeals. I just roll my eyes. "I'm okay, I have you guys as friends anyways. I don't need anymore." I reply bluntly, they all give me a sad look but then retreated. I walk towards my lab until I see the girl. There were two college students that bumped into her and she dropped all her stuff. The two students just start laughing. "That's why kids shouldn't be attending college." They both giggled. The girl just sticks her tongue at them and starts picking up her blue prints.

I sighed, I should go help her. I crouch beside her and start giving her, her blue prints. "Thank you." She says in a kind voice, I just nod my head to say 'your welcome'. Once she grabbed all her stuff we stand. "Thank you again. My name is Y/N, yours?" Y/N asks tilting her head. "Hir-." I was about to reply but then her watch started beeping, like crazy. Y/N looks at her watch in shock. "I'm sorry, I gotta go!" She says starting run away. "I'll see you around!" Y/N shouts to me across the hallway. I wave as she turns the corner.

She was, nice. No girls my age we're ever nice. Or I never was with girls my age. I remember one time when I was five a girl moved to the house next to us. Aunt Cass and Tadashi thought it would be good if I became friends with her. We hung out at my house and she ended being scared and never wanting to see me again. At first I wanted to play tag or something but she wanted to play with dolls. So I took out a unfinished robot that looked scary. She ran out of the house, never to be seen again.

That was the last time I was with a girl my age. I just move through the day of college, at the end of the day I meet with the gang. They were all standing outside talking to, you guessed it, Y/N. I stop, I wait until she leaves and then I approach my friends. "Hiro! We got you-." Honey Lemon was saying but Fred finished her sentence. "A date!"

"What?" I asked in shock. "I don't want to go on a date! You guys know I don't want to see girls." I say angered. "Hiro listen." Go Go says. Honey Lemon explains. "Hiro, we do know and that is why we want you to make a friend. We won't force her down your throat. We just want to see you make a friend your age. If the date doesn't go well then you don't have to see her again but if it goes well, then you can still not see her again." Honey Lemon finished. I just sighed. "Fine. I go to this stupid date." I grumbled, Honey Lemon squeals. They then explain that Y/N will meet me at The Lucky Cat Cafe and we just eat and talk.

I am not excited.

2021, January, 18th, Monday