They were telling me it was time to go. To make my exit clean and limber. But as I looked down at my body which was tumbled in leaves and dirt I could not help but be resilient.
"Can you give me a minute?" I asked, already sitting down cross-legged near my arm. I could see my skin waxy and pale, the veins dead still.
"Do not furlong this," they said. They weren't visible to my eyes only a shroud of a shadow. "It will only make it harder."
That irked me. "Hey bucko. You ever die before?" They couldn't give me an answer. I stared at my corpse, looked at the only place I could call home and a weight of guilt came over. I should have treated it better, I thought. I should have loved myself more.
"Is there any way--"
"No. The process has begun. It is for the best."
"I don't like vague answers. Seems like you're full of them." I tried to take a hold of my curled hand but it passed right through. "Will they find me soon? And what will happen then?"
"It is no longer in your hands." I turned my head to glare at them but they weren't behind me anymore. Looking at my body once more, I saw that they were now near my--no longer--head. Squinting I tried to clear my vision to see them but there was a mental blockage that would not let me.
"Fuck you."
They took it very literal and said, "Impossible."
Tears, or what could resemble it plopped down from my face onto the greedy earth that sucked up those puppies. "Why me?"
"Your time."
"Bullshit. And like that? Is it like karma? Was I--am I a bad person?" The tears kept flowing and I whimpered, closing onto my dead body. Laying next to it I began to try to furiously get a hold of it. And for a second I thought I wrapped my leg onto my waist but it slipped through dead-me. My crying turned into a full sob fest, the only sound that came out this wispy soul of mine.
I sucked in air. "W-What about all--all th-the people I will leave behind?"
"They will mourn."
I tried to swipe away tears but felt nothing. "You--whatever you are, are a horrible thing. You can't even make me feel better. Isn't that what you do, reassure?"
"No."
"I'm not ready," I said. "I'm not."
"Regardless--"
"Shut up!" I got on all fours and peered at my face. My eyes were open and my make-up was old, unaware of the time, I wondered how long has it been since my last breath... Brown hair disheveled the tie that had it up in a ponytail ripped and tossed somewhere near a frumpy stump, my clothes were stretched and ripped at the collar and my jeans were not even on. I looked at the bottom of my feet, bloody and cracked at their natural folds from the run that brought me here, at the end of the road.
There was so much I wish I could have done differently...if only, if only time could revert back.
"Do you hear that?" They floated in the field of my vision and I looked up. Dog barks. "That's our cue."
"But I need more time."
"No you don't." They, somehow brought me to stand. "Your body holds the key to your justice. Under your fingernails holds the identity of your attacker. Everything will set itself right."
"But I. I. Am. Dead," I whispered, the thought in itself daunting to the core. "Will I have my memories?" They shook their head in affirmation. "Will I die completely or be reborn?"
"That is not up to me. Never is. But--" the barking turned even louder and hurried voices could be heard.
"Yes?" I stared at their black haze of a head and anticipated their words.
"I think they found something Sir!"
They cocked their head and pushed further into the green vines, I hesitated to follow but did at last as one of the dogs came up to my lonely body, whining at a lost life.
