Looney Toony Neighborhood

Piggies in a blankie

It's been 2 hours and you are still at Porky Pigs house. You haven't seen him ever since the car chase and you start wondering where he is. You're still watching your favorite show Tit for Tat. Elmer Fudd is doing another silly comedy routine where he's pretending to be a hunter like he used to back in the day. He used to take you on hunting trips all the time. He seemed quite retarded though, as he didn't kill any animals at all. But you didn't care. You liked the time he spent with you and you had oh so much fun with him. Your eyes are all red and puffy from crying for 2 hours straight an your mascara is fricked up and smeared. You just want to go home and drink some booze, but you don't have a ride. You pull out your iPhone 15 XR and try texting Porky.

Y/N: Hey loser, where r u? It's been like 2 hours

Porkinator: Hey y/n, I got taken to court and I had to pay a for all the damage we both caused.. do you mind if you paid for a little bit?

Y/n: uh sorry pal but like ur the 1 who got in that mess in the 1st place. I'm not paying a cent <3

Porkinator: oh.. ok.. that's fine, no worries

Y/n: 😗💅🖕

You put down your phone and roll your eyes. That pig really gets on your nerves.

Another 2 hours pass and your still sitting in Porkys leather recliner watching Tit for Tat. You hear the doorbell ring. You get up from the leather chair and walk up to the door. You open it with annoyance and see a sweating pig at the front steps. It's Porky! He has sweat pouring down his face and he smells like a wet dog. He has sweat dripping down his entire body and his blazer is soaked. He's wearing his bow tie as a sweat band around his head and he's panting like crazy.

"Phew! I-I-I-I thought I would never make it.." Porky says out of breath as he pushes you aside and walks in.
"Uh.. where were you..? And why are you sweating like a hog..?" You say as you almost throw up in your mouth from the sweaty sight.
He looks at you exhausted and starts taking off his soggy blazer and puts on a tank top. He sighs.
"W-W-Well.. since I had to go to court, t-t-they took me in their police cars. I t-tried to call Bugs, D-Daffy, a-and you! But none of you would pick up.." he sighs as he sits down on the seat by his kitchen counter.
"S-S-So since I didn't have a ride.. I had to walk 4 miles from the court to h-h-here.." Porky sighs and chugs a big gallon of ice cold water.
You look at him awkwardly and sit down next to him.
"Dang.. that sucks" you say and take a sip of your Gucci Fiji water and start texting Marvin.

Y/n: heyyyyyy
Marvinator: hello 👋 how may I help you?
Y/n: cut the crap ok, I'll b over there soon k? K
Marvinator: oh alright? That sounds peachy 🍑
Y/n: tHaT sOuNdS pEaChY 🖕where r u taking me for dinner nerd???
Marvin: I'm unfamiliar with that gesture. And I will take you to the Sunset Room, it's very fancy✨👽
Y/n: f*** you 🖕👾sounds guuci see ya baby 😘
Marvinator: you are a very confusing woman...
Y/n:💩
You snap your phone shut...until you realize it wasn't a flip phone and cringe at the sight of your crushed phone in your hand.
"Ooh...that does not look g-g-good,"Porky cringes.
You slowly open your hand to find shards of glass stuck in your palm.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAJHHHHAHHAGDAMNGHSBJNDBFHBSHITZHAAAAaAAaAAAaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhHhhHHHHhHGhh," you scream at the TOP of your LUNGS!!
"O-O-O-O-Ohhhhh l-let me get the f-f-f-f-fir f-fir f-firrrr-st aid kit!!!!" Porky panics frantically.
"HURRY PORNY!!!!!!" You SCREAM as blood spurts from your hand.
"ALRIGHT!!!!!" Pinkie yells back.
He runs and stumbles around his house you can hear crashing and glass breaking.
"S-s-s-sH***IITTT!!" Porky cries.
Not too much later Porky runs in with a first aid kid.
"This'll sting a b-b-bit," porky says as he tries not to faint.
He starts picking the glass out of your hand and spraying anticipation on it. It stings so bad that you claw into the pig's arm as hard as you can. He screams as his flesh is being torn into by your acrylic nails.
"HURRY!!!!!" You scream in his pig ear.
"SHIT UP!!!" He screams back in pain and agony👹.
He finally bandages you up with the special Gucci bandages you gave him to put on you🤕.
"Y-y-y/n...leave...please..."porku sighs.
"FINE!! I was gonna leave ANYWAY!!" You stomp on his foot HARD unintentionally and run out the door.
You run all the way to your home and SLAM the door open.you hear a loud country scream from the other side but you didn't care. You had a date to get ready for. You run all the way up to your room and start ruffling through your closet for the perfect, sexy , date outfit.
"CONSONANT!!!" You hear a cowboy scream again.
You stomp out of your closet and zoom downstairs annoyed.
"WHAT THE F****CK DO YOU WANT???" You scream at the top of your lungs and look around for the hideous scream.
You see the little elf country man slammed into the wall by the door you forcefully opened. You move the door and see the mans giant nose squished and mangled.
"Oooooh..." you cringe and you hold in your laughter.
He gets up from the ground and he wipes all the dust and wall parts off of him and glares at you.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR??" He yells as his voice cracks like a boy going through puberty.
You roll your eyes and flip him off.
"Listen you f***cking bumpkin, I'm not in the mood to be dealing with you right now, got it??" You scream and smack his giant nose.
He looks at you with anger and disbelief and you angry stomp back upstairs.
"Ohhh she makes me so mad.." Yosemite grumbles under his breath.
He stomps inside your house, getting rubble and junk all over your Gucci carpet. He stomps upstairs and follows you into your room.. judging your decore and snickers as he sees a training bra on the floor. You walk over to your closet without noticing him until you hear him whistling Sweet Home Alabama. You snap your head around a full 360 and look at him with dagger eyes.
"GET THE F*****CK OUT OF HERE!!" You scream as you find the nearest shoe from your closet and throw a wooden slipper at him, knocking his cowboy hat off of his head, revealing his red locks. He looks at you offended and quickly picks up his hat and smooches it.
"Now what is your deal, dollie??" He screams and looks at you with rave.
You look at him with daggers and give him the bird once again.
"Omg please leeeeeaaaave, you're literally SO disgusting!!" You pig squeal and shoo him away.
"I can take a hint.." He sighs with anger.
"Uh! Clearly you can't, you retard!!" You scream and bonk him on the head with a sharp high heal.
"GEEZ GIRLY IM LEAVING" he yells and flips you off.
You turn around.
"Wait hold on, hillbilly" you say to him aggressively.
He turns around.
"Grrr.. what?" He growls.
"What did you even want in the first place, potato sack??" You shout as your still picking out a dress.
He rolls his eyes at your insult.
"I just wanted to know if you wanted to come bowling with the rabbit, the duck, that Martian.. and the chubby piggy guy" he says annoyed and crosses his arms.
Your ears perk up as you hear the midget say the word "martian".
"WAIT! Is the martian you're talking about have a cute little helmet on with a broom sticking out of it??" You ask excitedly as you run over to him.
"Uhh.. I mean I wouldn't say cute but- sure..?" He says awkwardly and pushes you away.
"Kay, I'll be there" you say immediately.
"Uh ok.. it's tomorrow night around 5 o' clock" he answers.
"Perfect. Ok get going, country fetus. I've got a date with a very cute guy.." you sigh as you pull out a black sexy gucci dress and flutter your eyelashes.
Yosemite rolls his eyes and closes the front door.