Freed

Banquet

"Do you really think there's an attack coming, Merlin?"

It was one of those rare moments where Merlin and Gwen were alone. They were both in the dining room making preparations for the banquet that evening. All the knights were either on patrol or training. Morgana wanted to practice her swordsmanship so Arthur was training with her. That left Merlin and Gwen.

"I don't know," Merlin sighed.
"I would like to believe that it isn't so, but everything is telling me that it is. It's been a very long time since there was an attack on Camelot. We have too many enemies for that not to be suspicious."

"I suppose so. But we will be ready for it."

Merlin smiled at her certainty.
"What makes you so sure?"

"You and Arthur. Apparently you two are the stuff of legends."

"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration," Merlin scoffed. "As far as I can tell, your husband is still just an arrogant prat."

"And your king!" She laughed.

"Of course. His Royal Pratness will live long in the minds of men!"

They both laughed, shaking their heads. It had been far too long since they have had one of their talks. It had been hard not to grow distant since she had become queen. In addition, Gwen was now married and Merlin had some unnamed thing going on with Morgana.
*edit*

"Merlin?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Why won't you admit that you love Morgana? Especially to her?"

Merlin paused, debating what answer to give. In truth, there were quite a few answers that would suffice.

"I'm just not sure that I'm ready yet. You know, for an actual relationship."

Merlin tried to busy himself with decorations, but it seemed that Gwen wasn't finished with her line of questioning.

"Have you ever been in a relationship?"

Merlin stopped. He should've seen it coming, but he certainly wasn't ready when it happened. Memories hit him like a wave. His hand began to tremble as he stared at the ground in front of him.

"Kind of," he wavered. "A long time ago."

Gwen didn't look up at him until he started talking, but when she did she instantly regretted having opened her mouth. Merlin looked as if he was lost in some distant land, hopeless as to finding his way out.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know-"

"No, it's okay. You deserve to know. In fact, I should've told you all a long time ago."

"You don't have to-"

Merlin our a hand up to stop her, as he sat down. He supposed that was as good a time as any.

"She was a Druid girl, a few years back. We didn't know each other for very long, but I loved her. In fact, I was going to run away with her," he chuckled, then stopped abruptly.
"She died a few days later. I held a funeral for her at a lake. It was just as she would've wanted it."

"Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry."

She ran over to him and hugged him. He let a few tears fall, but he mostly just kept his face downcast. After about a minute, he lifted his head a little.

"Her name was Freya," he gave a soft smile.

They remained that way for a few minutes. Gwen mourning for the loss that one of her best friends had to suffer, and Merlin slowly healing from all that had happened over the years. Eventually Merlin leaned out of her embrace and looked up at her with a smile.