Cuts

The Beginning of The End

The Beginning of the End~ 

It really  was a beautiful day. The sun was out and it was warm enough to be nice but cold enough not to melt the fresh fallen snow. It really was a beautiful day. That thought keeps running through my head as I walk home. I wonder if the world seems so pretty today because today is the last day I will be alive. I laugh at that thought giddiness rising up in my chest. I have been insanely happy since I decided to kill myself. Today was the perfect day to do it, my parents were taking Vanessa out to dinner for some random thing she did.

That how it always was. Vanessa was their favorite child. In fact as far as they were concerned she was their only child. They allowed me to live there but I doubt they ever loved me. I laugh again as I remind myself that in an hour or two I wouldn't have to put up with their abuse any longer. I would finally be free from the shackles of being a Thomas. As a wealthy family the Thomases have always been respected, and my parents hated the fact that I wasn't. . . Thomas Material. Vanessa was the model image of a Thomas. She fucked every guy she saw and spent all her allowance on clothes and make up. I saved every penny so that I could one day leave it all behind.

I smile when I think of the shock my parents would get when they returned home to find their daughter dead. Odds are they would only be upset because of the scandal my suicide is going to cause. It is strange the things that make you happy when you know you are going to die. I look at my big fancy home and nearly throw something at it. For all its fancy rooms and maids it never once felt like home to me.

I glance at the neighbors. Their house was equally extravagant and their children were all perfect. The eldest Zachery is off at Stanford studying to be ugh a doctor, Caleb, the middle child, is a basketball wizard who is probably going to go pro, and Isabella, is co-captain of the Cheer team with my sister. The perfect children.

I walk inside with a smile. I walk in the kitchen and make me a snack. That may seem like a silly thing to do when I'm on my way to commit suicide, but I wasn't going to die on an empty stomach. After I finish eating, I grab a sharp kitchen knife and go to my bedroom.

I had spent many hours in my bedroom looking across the yard. From my window I had the perfect view of Caleb's bedroom. Don't get me wrong I am far from into Caleb, I just like watching him sometimes. Given the fact that it is Wednesday, Caleb has Basketball Practice until 5:30. I look at my desk where I had put my note for my parents.

I didn't lie and say it wasn't their fault. I told them exactly what I thought of them, and that death was my way of escaping this twisted family. I look around at my room, and sigh. This would be the last time I ever look at my room. The last time I cursed at my family.

With a smile on my face I drag the kitchen knife along my wrist, wincing at the pain. I trace my veins with the knife, blinking away tears as I did so. I could already feel the dizziness creeping in. The pain was intense but it was nothing compared to the relief I felt. Finally I was free. I close my eyes and fall to the ground, landing in a pool of my own blood. I slowly blink as I hear a loud CRASH, and then I close my eyes to welcome the abyss.

I waited for what felt like an eternity for the emptiness of death. But it never came. Suddenly I open my eyes. I'm in a sterile white room, a hospital I realize. I look around and see Caleb, green eyes blazing. "What the fuck, Julia! Do you have any idea what you've done?" I look at him blankly. His arms and legs have bandages on them. I suddenly remember the loud crash, and understand he must have crashed through a window to get to me. I look at my wrists, and discover with disgust that they are perfectly bandaged.

Caleb holds something up and I recognize my suicide note. "You had no right to read that!" I say, angrily.  He snorts and says, "I saved your life sweet cheeks, I have the right to do whatever I want." I glare at him. "I didn't want to be saved."

His eyes soften slightly, "Julia...I understand how you feel but suicide is letting your parents win." I give him a killing look. He doesn't know shit! He's got all the friends in the world, parents who love him, a career he can look forward to. He doesn't know shit about depression. With angry tears in my eyes I say quietly, "Why didn't you just let me fucking die?"

​​​​​​A.N. ~ Depression is a serious issue, I myself used to suffer from depression. This story isn't just something meant to entertain...It is my hope that it raises awareness for depression in teens. If you are depressed, don't give up. It might seem like it will never get better but it will I promise. Feel free to message me if you want to talk or anything like that. Also This story was originally made on my Quotev account.

-NiomiNeko