The Fine Print✔️

Chapter 20

My mind draws a blank. "Which part?" I ask; Zhan leans in, and searching my eyes, he presses on, "What did you say about loving me?"

Did I say it out loud!? 

Fuck! 

What should I do now? 

I look at Zhan, and he doesn't seem offended in the least. Does that mean that he likes me too? But how can I accept? What if I change back? Will he be able to look at me the same then? Even though I know it would pain me to lie, I know that's the right thing to do. Yes, it would be best if I told him that I miss spoke. Or that I meant it in a brotherly sort of way. Bracing myself for pain and suffering, I speak, "I said that I love you." I pause, trying to think of how to proceed in a way that would hurt him the least, when Zhan pulls me in an embrace. "Me too." He sighs, tightening his grip on me. My lies get stuck in my throat and die (a happy death) as I return the hug.

There is no way I can give up on him!

'Then don't; he is your true love, after all.' A strong, confident voice invades my thoughts: Weredra's voice. But for once, I am not upset. If anything, I am over the moon!

However, Zhan lets me go all too soon. "Weredra must be waiting." He reminds and helps me up. As we walk towards our quarter, I voice my other concern, "Zhan ge, you did not answer me. Are you okay with my nightly outings?"

Instead of agreeing or disagreeing, Zhan asks, "Do you have to do this alone? Can't I help? I am not happy with the state of affairs here either."

I shake my head, "Unfortunately, my success depends on anonymity, and I didn't have extras of the things that ensure it."

He purses his lips and nods. His arms around my waist tighten. "Then I will be there for you when you return. You are a good man, YiJun. I may not remember who I am, but I can tell that much about you." By the time he finishes, we are in the room.

"What happened!?" Weredra exclaims and runs to me.

"I was clumsy and hurt myself." I shrug casually, just as Zhan is helping me to bed. Weredra huffs and looks at me disapprovingly. "I will fetch dinner." with that, she leaves me alone with Zhan.

"Does she know about your double life?"

I nod, "I told her what I told you on the night we arrived here." I think he had probably guess as much, yet, I can see the confirmation hurt him. "Actually, she caught me. I did not want to tell her, but she was pretty damn persistent." I add to soften the blow.

My idea works. Zhan looks at the door and smiles, "She is a lovely child. I don't remember if I have a sister back home waiting for me, but if I do, I hope she is like her." he says fondly.

"Zhan ge, I am pretty sure you won't want that." I blurt out and regret it instantly.

His brows knit, and he tilts his head slightly. "Why?"

Damn it, YiJun. Think of something fast! 

'Tell him that you won't want to share him.' Weredra suggests, and without a second thought, I repeat the words.

"What!?" Zhan's eyes widen; his cheeks color.

What!? Why did I say that!? Damn it, Weredra, stop messing with me!

Silence.

Zhan is the first to recover. He nods and sits next to me, "I guess that makes sense. I don't want to share you with anyone either."

"You don't?" I ask stupidly, and he nods, "Absolutely." His smile widens. He leans in and caresses my cheek. Then staring deep into my eyes, he asks, "YiJun, may I k..."