I miss you

the night we met

We met in March of 2020. My good friend -not so good now- Brooklyn had stayed over at my house. The conversation topic of the night had settled on guys. It was a common topic with her. She was the kind of girl with a new boy every week. She was telling me about her latest boy when I make a crack about being single. She sat up from my bed and took on a serious tone "I've got to perfect guy for you" she said. I've heard her say it so many times by then I'd just brushed it off. Then she clarified that she was actually being serious and that she thought I'd really like him. I still declined, but she was determined to get me to agree to talk to him. And to please her I said yes. My plan was to talk to him for a day and discover what I shitty personality he had then, politely of course, drop his ass.

That plan failed miserably.

She gave him my number and we started talking. At first I kept the conversation topics light and simple. "Whats your favorite color?" and "do you have any pets?" are my default topics. Once I got more comfortable with him I gently prodded him with questions that had more meaning behind them. Slowly I set boundaries for myself, making mental notes of topics to avoid. Then slowly I turned the simple questions from earlier that night into deep conversations about family and life that lasted for hours.

We ended up talking most of the night. We ended up having a lot in common. He was funny, smart, and actually pretty damn sweet to my surprise. I ended up going to bed after dragging the conversation out as long as I could in hopes that I could talk to him a bit longer. He promised we would talk the next day and they was good enough for me. I had made a pretty good friend that night. Friends don't typically linger on your mind hours after the convention ends, keeping you from sleep. But I guess he was different. Different, but just a friend. I kept feeling the need to tell myself thay over and over until it finally stuck in my head on loop. I finally fell asleep with the words repeating in my mind like a super annoying broken record. Just before I fell asleep a voice shoved far in the back of my mind whispered "I don't want him to be just a friend".

Be careful what you wish for