LILLY YU
21 Years Old
Breathe. Calm. Think of something else. Focus on the surroundings.
"What do you physically feel when you're anxious?" Dr. Reece asked.
I tapped on my feet lightly and stopped. Imagining the moments when I get anxiety attacks, the feeling of discomfort creeped in. My hands clasped and unclasped.
"It's like I've forgotten how to breathe. I would try to take deep, consistent breaths but this fear would make my thoughts hazy. My heart would start racing and my hands felt clammy. Sometimes I'd get this feeling in my stomach like I'm on a roller coaster," I started.
Dr. Reece looked at me and nodded to show that she understood what was going on.
"I see. What you're feeling...many people I've talked to have felt this way. It's how your body respond to threats which the mind can also play a role in this. But tell me about this fear you mentioned. What do you fear?"
I closed my eyes and I remembered the shouting, "I fear many things. They bother me."
"It is good that you acknowledged these fears. Let's focus on one at the moment." Dr. Reece's voice was gentle and soothing; like a mother cooing her baby.
At first my voice quivered, "Any moving vehicle. Only when I'm in it. It's the fear of not being able to take control in this situation."
"When did you feel this way?"
I looked up at the white ceiling, my head rested on the soft cushion, "It was the day me and my ex-boyfriend got into a very big fight."
"Would you like to talk more about that? Only if you're ready." Dr. Reece asked.
"Yes, I'm ready," I replied.
YOU ARE READING
When I Grow Up
General FictionLilly Yu was an only child, afraid of adults and most frightened by her English teacher, Miss Yao, at the age of 10. One day, Lilly received a mysterious letter from an unknown sender that was directly sent to her home. More letters started appearin...
