When Love Lies

Chapter 1

Love, the only thing in this world that's really hard to find. It's seems that is only true when you don't know what your looking for, or if you've been hurt before, from the needles love leaves behind. Well, at least that's what my mom says. It seems like ever since my dad left us, she doesn't want to deal with anything that has to do with love. Which sucks because she used to be really good at it. She used to actually show she cared rather than just look miserable all the time. Sometimes, when things get really bad, I think about how life was before dad left. When Kristina was just a baby, and I was two. Things seemed great back then, but now I see the signs. My dad's sudden attitudes, my mom's continued questionings. My dad getting up and leaving for days on end, then coming back with flowers, and a new smell. My mom accepting the flowers, but not accepting him, and then the cycle would continue. Sometimes I cry thinking about it, because when my mind wonders into the bad parts of the past, it seems to swallow me whole, and leave me there, with a scar on my heart as a mark to always help me to remember that our dad was a liar, and a cheater, and he never really cared abut us. No matter how many times he said he did. Sometimes I see why my mom gave up on love, other times, I don't. Sometimes I want to drag my mom out of bed, and tell her to cook a meal for once, and shower more than 3 times a week. I don't though. I don't do it because I understand that she's suffering a loss, that she thought would last forever. I don't do it because she is my mom, and I love and respect her. But because she's my mom, she should try to at least show us the right way to love someone, so that way when Kristina and I get older, we won't have to worry about this cycle that continues over and over again....Sometimes... Sometimes I just want to sleep and stay sleep in the beautiful dreams that I have of my family, but that can never happen. It can never happen because I have school, to worry about, a job to keep, a sister to guide, because my mom just won't. Not because she doesn't want to, but because she still stuck in that trance. Sometimes I want to tell her about how dad showed up for Kristina's basketball game to cheer her on, and ask about her. I know that if I did that though, it would just make me mad. Mad because my mom, whose been here, never showed up for Kristina's practices or games, or anything that Kristina and I have ever done. At least I can say my dad has. At least I can say that... Right?