Sand Red

14

The night passed uneventfully and at dawn, I gave my watch up to Enya again.

I found my way to the blanketed building. It was empty. Od informed me that the children were all at work outside, though it was barely dawn. I wrapped my jacket tighter around myself. The night's chill wasn't even gone yet. At the old camp, the children would usually wake when the day's heat began to grow. 

I found my way to an old hut my passers by told me was the food storage. There was a straggly line of the three children at the front and Alek was handing out rations looking awkward and inexperienced. Sanam was nowhere to be seen. My heart panged with guilt. I moved to the back of the line and waited my turn, the little children looking at me curiously and the older one with tear reddened eyes. The atmosphere was subdued and conversations were low and hushed. The children seemed to understand that something was wrong and the baby Jay wailed in the arms of his brother Niger, who was hardly older than Jay himself. Every last child was an orphan now. The thought made me want to cry, but my heart was lead and my insides empty and I could not cry. The line inched forward maddeningly slow despite it consisting of only four members as Alek handed out the rations inefficiently and slow. I shuffled along for long minutes until I was finally at the front. My stomach seemed to sigh with relief as the smells of wild tomato and salted meat hit my nostrils. I received my share like it was something holy and moved off to eat it, holding the haphazardly cooked meat preciously to my nostrils. I sat down with my back to an Old World wall and tore at the meat like the starved man I was.

'There you are.'

I lifted my head. It was Od. I turned back to my meal, feeling vaguely irritated. It was the first time I had felt this way towards either of the twins. But these were not normal times and my patience was thin this day.

He sat down next to me. 'Yul is in line for us.'

So he hadn't eaten yet. I didn't offer him a bite of my ration. The sun beat down ahead of me, the walls sheltering us.

'So, what's the matter?'

I didn't know. I didn't answer. I loved Od and I loved Yul.

Od sighed.

'I'm sorry.' I looked up at him emotionlessly. 'For all of this.'

'I'm sorry, too.'

God knows what he was sorry for. I didn't want to know what weighed on his mind. I was afraid they would weigh on mine too if I heard. 'Want a tomato?' I offered him one from my handful.

He took one carefully and popped it into his mouth. His expression changed as he bit into it. His eyes opened wider, and his nose crinkled as it did when he was breaking a long fast. He was hungry. I had eaten my meat. My stomach was settling. It would take him many long minutes to receive his ration. Unceremoniously, I dumped my tomatoes into his palm.

'I don't want them,' he said, trying to give them back.

'Just eat.'

He couldn't bear to refuse as the delicious smell hit his nostrils. I watched as he shovelled them into his mouth, trying to go slowly. We sat in silence until he was done.

'Find Yul,' I advised him. 'Eat your meat.'

'Come wait with us.'

I shook my head. 'No. I've got to figure out the water trade to keep this place running.' I turned my thoughts to the vast greenery of the Reds for a moment. 'Then I have to find out what the kids are doing. The adults are pressed for time. We need to start teaching the older kids to carjack if we're going to survive.'

Od was silent. I knew what he was thinking and I was thinking the same. Another camp to maintain by stealing. We were both thinking about the Reds and the Baxters and their like. They could afford to pour water onto the ground and give up meat and demand their grain returned from the impoverished like us. All we could do was steal while people like them looked down on us.

'Alright,' Od said, snapping me out of my thoughts. He got up. 'I need my ration. See you.'

I let him go silently. In a minute, I too got up and wandered through the camp aimlessly until I found Madan, who knew his age to the minute because his mother had recorded the moment of his birth. He was twenty two, I think, possibly around as old as me.

'Madan!'

He turned.

'We have to talk. Us grown-ups. About how we're going to run the camp by ourselves.'

'Yeah. We'll call a meeting this evening. You on watch?'

I shrugged. 'I don't mind.'

'Find Charlotte. She'll give you a gun. The orange building.' He pointed it out.

I tramped over to the building he had shown. Charlotte was inside as he had said, bouncing her baby on one knee, and evidently doing accounts. The child chuckled with glee as her mother paused her work to tickle her belly.

'Hey,' she said as I came up. 'Watch duty?'

I nodded. She handed me a rifle with one hand.

I walked back out into the sunshine, my eyes itching with sleep. At the perimeter, I took up my post. The day turned slowly and Madan and I patrolled the perimeter, searching the thorn beyond alertedly. The watch passed uneventfully and after my evening ration, I moved towards the blankets room, ready to sleep for several delicious hours when I was waylaid by Aida.