Sand Red

18

I packed another pair of knives into my sack. We were to leave that evening, Aida and me. To be honest, I was a little relieved that neither Od nor Yul were coming. I felt cold towards them. And helpless because I was afraid our friendship would never go back to normal. I rested the meat gently atop the knives and red camouflage. It was crazy to think this is all we would need for a journey god knows how long. The waterbags I put in a separate sack, for fear the knives in the first might puncture them.

'Ready?' Aida appeared behind me. Her skin shone with sweat and there was a smear of blood on her hands. Just returned from hunting, no doubt. She peeked into the first sack. 'No water?'

I patted the second sack. 'Here.'

She lifted her crudely welded bow off her shoulders. 'I need my bow. Not too good with knives.'

I nodded. She could carry it herself.

'Go train them one last time. Someone else will have to take over after you.'

'While I'm gone,' I said sharply.

She balked. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.'

Od appeared at the door. He didn't look at me. He fetched his socks from a corner and left with them speedily. I tried not to feel anything at his silent treatment of me.

Aida had observed his animosity. 'Upset because you didn't vote for me?'

I looked at her, startled. 'You noticed?'

'Trained to observe.'

My eyes shot up to her face. I'd heard that phrase before, 'Trained to observe'.

'I don't know why he's upset. And I suppose I don't care,' I added unfeelingly.

'That's a lie,' she said lightly.

I clenched my fist. She was no one to me and she didn't have the right to say that to me. 'I'll go start training,' I told her curtly. She merely nodded.

Outside, true to me, the children hadn't gone to receive their rations. They were lounging about, waiting for me. As they caught sight of me, they quickly organized themselves into a line. I paired them up quickly. They had gotten better. It took ages for them to cut each other down. When Niger had finally dropped Sanam to the ground, the battles were over. I stepped forward, smiling broadly.

'You've all done well today. Each and every one of you.' I looked around at the crowd of sweating faces around me. 'I am proud.

'Now, as you know, I am leaving camp tonight.' Intelligent eyes stared back at me. 'I don't know when I will be back. But until I am, training must not stop. I need all of you to work at it by yourselves. Another grown up will be here to help you. The skills I want covered are left hand blade wielding, speed-ending, and feinting. Pass that on to your next instructor.' I smiled around at them. 'Remember, you've done so well. Again, I am proud. You can take your rations now.' I turned and began to walk away, dragging my feet.

'Kun!' I turned to see Niger run towards me. 'Fight me,' he said, a little breathlessly. I smiled down at him. 'Not today. I need all my energy for tonight.'

He stood a little sadly, his little chest sticking out, motherless, fatherless and starved, probably from bigger kids stealing his ration. 'Practise on those bullies, eh?' I said to him and winked.

'Aye,' he said in a copy of me, still unsmiling. He touched my palm lightly. 'Bye Kun.'

'Bye, Niger,' I said to him, my heart breaking, walking away, waving back at him and all the children with their grief-hardened faces who knew I might not come back.

I leaned at the doorway of the sleeping room, breathing hard. A black head raised itself to look at me.

'Rest before we start,' Aida said.

'Aye,' I said and choked back a laugh as I remembered Niger's copy. 'Aye,' I said again, sitting down on a blanket and pulling off my boots. I lay back and shut my eyes. I felt terribly empty and sleep came easily. I was dead to the world in less than five minutes.