brooklyn - steve rogers. / captain america.

ten.

anastasia presely james
chapter ten 
feb. 27, 2013

it's fifteen minutes past midnight, steve hasn't left and i haven't said a word. i lay in my bed looking out of the window, envious of the people on the ground who resemble ants. a part of me feels bad for walking away from the conversation, but the rest of me knows i need space to allow myself to think.

simple little people, simple little lives.

my bun begins to hurt my head and i pull out the hair tie and softly massage my head. rigo settles in his bed, which seems about right due to the time. i look at my dresser and realize that i'm still in the dress i was wearing earlier. 

i should change.

i get up and pull out the drawer full of socks and under garments. i grab a pair of crew socks and a white bralette. i take off my dress and begin to change into more comfortable clothes. i throw my dress into the dirty laundry bag that's in my bathroom and grab a pair of sweatpants.

*knock knock*

i slide into the sweatpants, quickly, and look at the door that's already open, and see steve standing there.

"hey," his voice is comforting yet provoking.

i force a smile and massage my head before sitting on my bed. 

he looks at me and i pat the spot besides me as an invitation. he gives a small smile and nods, closing the door behind him. he walks over towards my bed and sat bedsides me, placing a comforting hand on my knee. i lay my head on his shoulder, and he lets out a deep breath while wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"he never said anything," i spit out, breaking the silence.

"you were the most powerful woman we knew, you were the last thing the had left to cling onto when before he..."

i pick myself up and look up at him with confused eyes.

what kind of trouble was bucky in?

"before what?"

he stopped and shook his head.

"he should be the one who tells you this, this isn't my story to tell," his words began to frustrate me.

even though a part of me wishes i could be understanding, my entire body is telling me i need to help bucky.

"just tell me! god, please, you can't start something if you're not going to finish it, steve," i scoot away from him and he's looking at me.

"i'm sorry, it's selfish, but with your next mission i thought it would be the perfect timing for you to know," he looks up with a guilty face and i look at him even more confused.

"my next what?" i ask, a wave of nervousness sets in and overwhelms me a little.

hie eyes widen and he cleared his throat, awkwardly.

"okay, now that; right there. i am one-hundred percent not at liberty to discuss, and that's just a matter of professionalism. i'm sorry for that one," i groan and roll my eyes at his words.

how did i become best friends with two of the world's biggest idiots? 

i stand up and began to pace the floor, thoughts running through my mind and the wold's not slowing down.

"anastasia, he loves you," steve says, almost like he's trying to comfort me

"steve, please, i can't. not right now," my tone was aggressive, causing for instant regret to set in as soon as the words escape my mouth.

i turn to steve, who's face is filled with hurt and a hand covers my mouth while my eyes are wide.

"that," i clear my throat and look at the ground,"that was really rude."

silence fills the room and yet it was like i could hear him thinking. 

"look, my emotions are on a magnifying glass and i'm sorry," i stop pacing the floor and step towards steve,"i'm mad but i'm not angry, and you're not even the person i'm angry at," i take a deep breath and sit besides him,"i'm pissed at bucky." 

steve looks confused and i shake my head, bringing my palms to my face and rubbing my eyes.

"why are you mad at bucky?" i smile at the thought of bucky, always taking care of our messes and getting us out of trouble. 

"because he knew i loved you."

steve's once stiff body, softens and he places a comforting hand on top of mine, allowing me to continue.

"i told him as soon as he got back, and he found you getting your ass kicked in the back ally behind the cinema," the memories flood back as i reminisce, causing for me to smile,"he knew and he wasn't going to tell you until i was able to tell you but when i did, you fled. not even a few hours later, you were at the spark expo with buck on a double date. so yes, i'm mad. he had every possibility to just tell me, and he," i pause and look up at steve,"he never told me."

i look to my right and see the city skyline, my body tenses as i feel steve give my hand a squeeze.

"ana, when hydra took him, the mere thought of you gave him hope. when i rescued him, he gave me the ring for safe keeping, told me it guaranteed we'd get back to you."

i chuckle at both the thought, knowing he would say such a thing and at steve, who can't keep a secret for his life. steve continued as i looked out to the city that never sleeps.

"when i got out of the ice, i wasn't sure it was still with me but it was and i've been holding onto it since. natasha gave me the box for it," he chuckled lowly and put a finger on my chin, turning my face toward him.

"anastasia," he drags and i look up at him, his eyes pool with tears,"somewhere deep down, i'm sure he still loves you but i'm not so sure he's still the same person. i'm not even sure you're the same person he fell in love with when we were kids."

i bit down on my lip and feel my eyes water. steve runs a hand on my cheek and i shut my eyes, allowing the tears to fall.

"and we're not kids anymore,"he whispered before taking a pause," we've each somehow undergone transformations and you were hospitalized, i was frozen and bucky was- bucky was taken and he has gone through way more than i could ever fathom."

i nod slowly and feel steve wipe away my tears.

"what if he doesn't remember me?" i open my eyes and steve shows a comforting smile.

"there's nothing in the world that could possibly allow us to forget you," i chuckle at his reassurance and nod, he places a soft kiss on my forehead, making me smile.

i slowly pull back and let out a sigh.

"can you stay with me tonight? i just," i pause and look up at him," i would really like company. i don't think i want to be alone tonight."

he nods and hums,"of course."

he takes off his leather jacket, leaving him in his famous fitted white teeshirt and a pair of jeans, placing the leather jacket on a chair by my vanity. he wraps his arm around my waist and we fall onto my bed, each on our sides. i press the button by my bed, turning off my bedroom lighting. i feel my eyes begin to pool with tears once more, my heart slowly breaking for bucky.

"steve," i call out, in my dark room, with my eyes on the lights of new york.

"yes, love?"

"how did i not notice?"

steve shifts and pulls the hair behind my ear, as i'm laying my head on a pillow. 

"don't blame yourself," he lets out a deep breath," i didn't know either. i never noticed."

the room fills with silence again and he pulls me so my back is closer to his chest.

i feel my eyelids get heavy and i slowly begin to fall asleep.

"i love you, anastasia."