Kick Start

Chapter Ten

Lauren sat in her room.

Just sat.

Or maybe sprawled.

She kind of switched between splayed out on her bed and curled in a ball on her desk chair, switching between positions whenever one got boring or uncomfortable.

It had been three days since the game, which was on Wednesday.

Now, it was Saturday and she had yet to show her face to anyone.

She skipped school, begging her dad to let her stay home.

He did, but only because he thought she was sick- she did look it, even, all pale and red-rimmed eyes and nose.

She didn’t tell him it was because she hadn’t really slept or ate or done anything since the game.

He never asked.

And while her father didn’t seem to notice she was upset, her friends surely did, and she ignored their calls and texts, turning her phone off completely.

When Luis tried coming over she told her father not to let him in.

She just- she couldn’t show her face to anyone.

She let her team down when the last goal was made-

The shot comes sooner than she'd  anticipated.

She feels it hit the pads of her fingertips.

And then, there’s cheering.

Loud cheering.

The whistle blows.

It takes a moment for her brain to register that the opposing team was the one cheering, and not her team.

Her team just looks defeated.

Lauren can’t believe it.

This was everything- to both her and her team, but especially her- and it was all her fault.

She didn’t stop the goal.

She let the goal make it to the back of the net.

It hit her damn fingertips and she hadn’t managed to stop it, and now, now they…

They lost.

-and she still couldn’t get over it.

She knew she needed to be there for her team- she was captain after all- but she felt broken, absolutely torn in two.

This had been her goal for such a long time, the one thing she thought about, the only thing keeping her motivated.

Now all she could do was sit.

Stare.

Lauren hadn’t worked out since the game.

She hadn’t even really left her room.

“It isn’t your fault, Laur. Don’t beat yourself up over this.”

Knowing eyes gazed into her own, and she almost felt a spark of something, but then, she remembered what had just occurred and it was like the spark just disappeared.

“I know,” she replied, but her shoulders were tense and her  eyes were unseeing and she was already pulling away.

It wasn’t supposed to go like this, she wanted to say.