Grasping at Freedom

Getting To Know Me

Written on: February 6, 2015
Published on Wattpad on: February 7, 2015

My name is Ella Rae. I am currently 15 years old and was born in the middle of September in 1999. I have shoulder length dirty blonde hair that has natural blonde highlights, blue/green/gray eyes with gold flecks in the middle, I'm not allowed to get my ears pierced, and I have a bit of acne, but I am to lazy to cover it up. I'm not supposed to wear makeup (according to my dad), but my moms okay with it. My favorite colors are lilac, turquoise, aqua, a soft sunshine yellow, and sea foam green.

My parents, who are Catholic, married in June of 1999 and I was born that September. Note: I was not a a premature baby. I am frequently called an accident and sometimes am treated like one.

(some of the following may sound like bragging and I apologize for this. There is a point, I swear)

I have a brother, Alec, who was born in 2001, and a sister, Jenna, who was born in 2002.

My parents are both very intelligent, so my siblings and I are also smart. I work my butt off to use my intelligence and do well, Alec is much smarter than me but doesn't work AT ALL, and Jenna is more towards average and very popular, but still smart.

I was homeschooled for Kindergarten and 1st grade, after which my mom sent me to public school because I "caused problems" and was belligerent.

I was in one of the lowest reading groups in my class in 2nd grade. I hated being at the bottom so much that I stayed in during recess to read. By the end of the year, I was in the second highest reading group.

As a third grader, my dad taught me how to find the area of circles. (And if you are familiar with lexile, my score increased from below 600 to over 1000 during the course of the year.)

In 4th grade I finally tested high enough to be placed in the advanced program. (I was really bad at taking tests)

In 5th grade I went to state science fair where I scored a superior (the highest rank).

I took advanced classes as a 6th grader and was able to help 7th graders with their homework, so I decided that skipping a grade was the best solution.

I took both algebra and geometry in 8th grade so that I wasn't behind in my advanced math courses.

The summer before eight grade (I think this is right) year; Alec, Jenna, and I were spending the week at my Aunt and Uncles house when my brother attempted to choke me to death. (This wasn't one of those "It's just a guy thing" like people always tell me. He wanted to kill me)

I took two sciences my freshman year (physical science and biology).

I am currently a junior and am taking: AP Calc, AP Stats, AP English language and composition, Honors German 3, Honors Physics, and AP Psychology. I assist in cooking dinner for 120+ teens for youth group every Sunday.

Next years I plan on doing dual enrollment at a local university.

I was banned from eating sugary foods on January 1st of this year by my dad because I supposedly have a sugar addiction. I weigh 106 pounds and I'm 5'6'', I think I'm okay to eat some junk food.

Why am I telling you this? 1)So you know my background and understand part of why I have some issues and 2) I share this to show that I am by no means dumb, yet this is the way my entire family treats me. It truly took me a long time to realize that I AM smart. It's hard to view yourself a particular way when the people you should be able to trust and should love you are always against you.

*****••••***••*••***••••*****
Nearly every chapter will be a legitimate diary entry.
If you see brackets, [ ], it refers to information that is given to you, the reader, to help you understand something. These symbols, { } , represent an action.

I know there is a possibility that someone reading this will know who I am. It would mean a lot if you didn't say anything. I need to do things when I feel comfortable doing them. I'm also still afraid of my brother, and he gets very angry and violent, so I don't want him especially to know about my writing.

I want to put my "diary" on Wattpad so that I can get other people's opinions and also help other people, so if you ever need anything, just let me know. (I'll also read anything you write!)

Because I am writing diary entries and they will frequently be written when I'm angry, the spelling and such might be bad. Feel free to correct me.

Thanks for reading!! The next entry will be a diary entry!!

-Ella Rae

(Vote, Comment, and Share so I know who's reading! Thx!)