Grasping at Freedom

The Weekend of February 7th and 8th

Written: February 8, 2015 and February 9th (and much, much later on February 21st)
Published to Wattpad on: February 21st, 2015

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I took the ACT on Saturday morning while my mom, dad, Alec, and Jenna went to meet a cousin that I haven't seen since I was around 2 (stupid family decisions), and I was upset that I couldn't meet her.

They picked me up, and asked how the test went. I was honest, it was okay and on every section I seemed to run out of time.

My dad asked me I there was anything that I couldn't solve on the math test, and there were a couple, one was because I couldn't remember the distance formula.

He got worked up and raised his voice (we are still in the car btw), telling me that I should have been able to solve everything and that I could have derived the distance formula with a right triangle. I' m starting to get frustrated now because I'm brain dead from the test and I have a headache and my back hurts due to sitting for so long and not taking an ibuprofen when I got up.

Alec and Jenna were antagonizing me in the van because they had a 40 box of Tim bits and I can't have them.

We got home and had lunch [leftovers] when I was yelled at because I was going to eat the remainder of the taco meat on a third taco because I was hungry and already had 2. The logic: only people that work out can eat that much protein. THIS MADE ME SOOOO MAD. THEH HAVE BEEN TELLING ME TO EAT MORE PROTEIN SONCE I GAVE UP SUGAR AND NOW I CAN'T EVEN EAT. AND I DO TO WORK OUT!!!!!!

We had "quiet time"/ "nap time", which is when I should have been doing homework from the 3 days I missed of school, but instead played games on my iPod and typed some stuff for this story.

We went out for a run, but I could only run one mile (I had to stop 3 times) because my entire body felt sore and my back hurt so bad.

Alec and Jenna bothered me every time I stopped asking "What are you even doing?" and "You know that's not running, right?". They made fun of me when I was lazy and didn't run, and they make fun of me when I'm trying me hardest. I just can't win.

We went out for dinner and I was scolded because I had my iPod out at dinner doing research for my business. Mom told me that we don't use our devices at dinner unless we're sharing with the family, even though dad was just doing it when she was talking to him and she had no problem with that. Later, I pulled out my iPod again, this time to check Hay Day. She saw and got on my case for being on it, saying that I wasn't being part of the family. 1) I don't want to be a part of the family, and 2) They weren't including me in the conversation anyway. I'm always at the end of the table, alone. I used to mind, but it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

(written on Feb. 21st)

All I remember is that Alec yelled at me in the bathroom [the morning of february 8th] for using "Jenna's sink" in the bath room [we're not supposed to use other people's sinks] and I got yelled at by my parents and questioned as to why I didn't think that the rules ever applied to me.

Maybe becuase they don't make any sense!!! Let's have Jenna use her own sink because she has braces (big freakin deal, she just brushes them, it's not even like she flosses them), and make the two siblings that hate each other the most share a sink when Ella uses 4 different facial products [recommended by mom and her makeup consultant] and has to clean 3 different retainers every day. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BRILLIANT FUCKING IDEA!!!

I'm really failing at my motto, better work on that a bit.