A Second Chance : Nagito x Hajime

You ruined everything

A/N: Credits to seafl00r on IG!

Chapter Two - The Hospital

Nagito's POV

I woke up in the hospital, confused as to what happened.

«I'm...alive..?»

I looked up to my surroundings, before realizing the pain I was in. I looked over at my body, Who was sealed in bandages.

I looked next to me and saw Hajime.

Hajime...

He was sleeping peacefully, holding my hand. I blushed realizing his warm hands were holding mine. My less armed hand, considering the other one was in a pretty bad state...

Wait a second... I should be pissed at him! He ruined everything! My plan to save everyone...It was the only way! I let go of his hand dramatically, as if he disgusted me. Altough I acted like it when I found out he was a reserve course student...

Even tough I told myself he was useless, I still couldn't brush the feelings away.

I tried getting up quietly, without waking him up. The last thing I want to is to talk to him right now...If I'm stealthy enough, I can gather all the instruments needed and retry my plan again. I need to. It has to be done. I need to die!

But as soon as I got up, my tighs were killing me. My body couldn't stand the pain, and I fell.

«Fuck...»

I heard a yawn behind me. Of course this had to happen to me... It seems as if whenever I'm around Hajime, it only brings me bad luck. Like staying alive because of him wasn't enough already...

«Nagito..?

...

Nagito! Oh my god!! Don't get up, you need to rest, hold on, I'll help you up..»

Almost awkwardly, he lend me a shoulder before helping me back to the bed.

He sighed. There was a moment of silence between us before he spoke to me again.

-Nagito...why would you do this?

Of course he would lecture me. He doesn't know anything about my intentions. I didn't want to explain myself to him. He did ruin my plan to save everyone, including him, after all. He is to blame...but so am I. I'm not needed in this world, why can't he understand that? I can't tell him the truth... I can't tell him what we all really are...

-Please answer me.

-Why do you care..?

«Are you kidding me?!»

He shouted at me before realizing he went overboard. I flinched at the suddent movement. He settled down and took a deep breath.

- You're always messing around...but I never tought you'd actually do something like this.

-What can I say? No one would do it...so I did. Until you went and ruined everything.

Wait...fuck. Did I really say that? I guess that slipped out...I didn't mean it...I just need to come up with something other than the truth.

He looked at me with an angry look.

Why is he mad at me?! I'm the one who should be mad ! Of course he can't comprehend what I wanted.

I brushed off my toughts to look at him again. Just to realize he was tearing up.

Wait...what?

He started crying uncontrollably. I just stared at him.. confused. Why is he crying? Was I too rough on him?
Fuck. Looking at him cry makes me feel horrible. Is that what he wants from me?

«Why...are you crying..?»

He looked at me, trying to wipe his tears, not being able to.

« Why...why would you say that? You think no one cares about you? Y-you think I don't..care about you?! That I ruined your little plan to make everyone's lifes better?? Well, you.. you're f-fucking wrong okay?!»

He couldn't finish his sentence before sobbing again. It was the first time I saw Hinata-Kun cry. He usuallys always looks so strong and cold.

Wait.

He... he cares about..me?

« You think I haven't noticed? I know that look on your face when you're about to fuck up!»

I'm such a dissapointment... Making him cry...how could I be so selfish? I..I love him...I just wanted to keep him safe..It was the only way, I swear...But- No! I can't..have these feelings.

«Hajime...»

He looked at me, trying to calm down.

-Why..did I not die?

-What..?

- I..I let go of the spear... didn't I?

He wiped his tears off.

«Yeah. You did. I catched the spear before it reached you.»

I looked down to my bed. That's pretty impressive. But i'm still dissapointed.

«W-why..?»

-Why?

- Yes...why? Why would you save me?
Why would you save someone like me? I..I dont deserve to be saved.

...

I felt myself tear up. Oh great. Why am I even crying? I'm not scared of death...I wanted this...

He looked up to me before realizing I was crying. I couldn't look at him. I felt ashamed. Stupid. Most of all, everything I did was for nothing. I could've crushed despair...Now everything is fucked!

I tried wiping my tears, but before I could do so, I felt warmth around me.
It was Hajime. He was holding me. He was holding me so tight I could barely comprehend what was going on. I felt more tears fall down my cheeks, until I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I held him back and started crying onto his shoulder. He patted my head and started playing with my hair.

I felt...safe in his arms. I never wanted to let go of him.