Without The Words

Chapter 15

Movement awoke me. When I opened my eyes and ripped away the earphones from my ears, I was greeted with Mr. Lee who was digging around in his bag. His knee had touched mine and that itself had awoken every nerve in my body.

I assumed he had found what he was looking for, because he laid back in his seat and turned to me. "Sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

The fact that he was sitting next to me dawned on me and I nervously giggled. As shock outlined every feature of my face, I plopped my hand over my mouth and mentally punched myself a million times for acting so idiotic.

He scratched his chin and attempted to cover the smile that appeared on his face. Another nervous giggle escaped my lips and I coughed to cover it up, but it was no use. He definitely heard my laugh that time.

"Are you laughing at me?" He asked playfully, ridding me from what could have been embarrassment but instead turned into teasing.

I excitedly grabbed my notepad.

No. Are you laughing at me?!

I criss-crossed my legs in the seat and placed the notepad in my lap, pointing at it so he could read it.

"Are you being sassy with me? I don't think that extra exclamation point was necessary." He said teasingly. I felt the smile in his voice. He was smirking at me. Was he flirting? Was I?

I wasn't being sassy! You laughed at me! I wrote, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

He glanced at it shook his head, making a fake tsk-ing noise. "I didn't laugh at you, darling."

Darling. That word tugged my abdomen and caused my cheeks to flush red with not embarrassment, but something I couldn't quite put my finger on. But hell did I love the way he said it, laced with playfulness but yet something else as well.

We both stopped talking after he had said that; another awkward moment. Every time a connection would spark between us, we would break it off per usual. I absolutely loathed it.

"Do you want the light on?" Mr. Lee asked me. I nodded and he flicked it on, causing both of us to squint from the sudden brightness. We both eventually adjusted and smiled tightly at each other, and I returned back to my mindless staring contest with the seat in front of me.

"Nate?" Mr. Falliner called out.

"Yeah?" Mr. Lee responded abruptly, concern immediately warping his face.

"Can you come here for a second?" Mr. Falliner asked. He sounded concerned as well.

"Yeah, sure." Mr. Lee sat up. "Sorry," he said to me, his knee awkwardly against mine as he dug around again for something in his bag. I couldn't move or breathe, with his leg against mine and all. It made my vision far too fuzzy to even focus.

"Excuse me," he sad, clearly preoccupied. Mr. Lee got out of his seat and moved to the area by Mr. Falliner. I touched my leg where his knee had touched it. I would have rather felt his hand on my leg.

What the hell?

Why would my mind posses such disastrous ideas? He was a teacher and I was a student. It was impossible, but at the same time, whenever his gaze focused on mine, it felt like a lot of damn things could happen.

I came to the realization that his name was Nate. I wanted to say it myself, to hear how it sounded off my tongue. I lip-synced it instead, and I loved how it felt maybe a little too much.

I took the time to run my fingers through my just-slept hairstyle, as well as taking off my jacket to use as a blanket instead. My arms instantly felt chilly, due to the fact that the air conditioning seemed to be blasting. I shivered and attempted to get comfortable.

Mr. Lee came back to his seat minutes later.

"The meet is off," he whispered, probably afraid I might be sleeping, which I obviously wasn't.

Why?

I wrote that question on my arm in pen instead. My notepad was in my jacket pocket and I didn't feel like digging for it, although I would definitely have to if Mr. Lee kept talking to me.

"If you haven't noticed, we've been in traffic for more than an hour," he said, both of us simultaneously glancing out the window. "It's raining too hard, anyways. There's flood warnings in Rosefield. We're about forty minutes away from Rosefield and it doesn't seem like these cars will be moving anytime soon. We've got a while."

I finally pulled out my notepad.

I was really looking forward to the meet today. That's a shame, I wrote.

"Yeah," he responded. "It is. Most of the students don't seem to mind, though." He chuckled. He looked around at most of the sleeping students.

Majority of the inside of the bus was dark besides the tiny florescent lights on the row to the bathroom. It seemed that Mr. Lee and I were the only ones actually conversing and not preoccupied by something else, preferably an electronic device.

Will you announce that the meet is off? I jotted down and showed it to him.

"I'll probably let everybody sleep and announce it when we get back to the school. Besides, it's better with just us awake." He said casually, picking at an invisible piece of lint from his jacket.

"Because it's more relaxing," he added.

I sure as hell felt the same way, but I wasn't open enough to admit that. My cheeks flooded with heat and Mr. Lee awkwardly scratched his chin. I could vaguely make out the dust of stubble on his chin.

I like your name, by the way. I wrote and nervously showed it to him. Was I being too personal? Were students supposed to say things like that?

I liked talking to him this way, though. For once, somebody wanted to converse with me without forcing me to speak. He didn't expect that at all, and little did he know that was all I needed.

"I like yours too, Poppy." He said slowly, each word sounding more and more alluring the way it tipped off his tongue.

I wanted to ask him so many questions about himself. Like how old he was or why he wanted to be a history teacher. But of course, I already felt that I crossed the boundaries of students and teachers, so I awkwardly snuggled closer to the window and attempted to get comfortable for the long ride.

"You can lean on this side," he said, pausing for a second. Due to the quietness of the bus, his voice dropped into an oddly sexy whisper. "If you want. My arm would be more comfortable than the window." He added, his gaze drifting from my face to my whole body, in which it was awkwardly curled against the rainy and wet window.

If I want? Of course I want! But was it the right thing to do? Definitely not. But then again, he probably didn't look at me like a regular student, which the thought has crossed my mind far too much. I was technically a mute. Disabled, even.

Okay, I wrote, my heart rate quickening at an unhealthy speed.

I switched sides and leaned my head very slowly against his hard left arm. He stiffened so quickly beside me, and I stiffened as well. My anxiety was beginning to travel to my upper body like a wild fire, and there was no doubt it would explode out of my chest if I didn't relax soon.

Calm down, I told myself mentally. You are safe. Mr. Lee cares about you. You are okay. Don't embarrass yourself.

I talked myself out of my mini attack in less than three minutes, which was a record for me. Sometimes I can't even talk myself out of it. I usually pass out or hyperventilate.

I relaxed against his arm, and I felt his muscles stop tensing. His leg was now pressed against mine. We were so close. I could feel his body heat radiating onto me. He smelt like a candy cane and that itself was so deliciously mind-boggling that it actually made me want to pass out.

My thoughts were going wild in my mind, slamming against my skull and telling me inappropriate things that would definitely never happen. I closed my eyes and draped my jacket over my body.

Before I fell into a comfortable sleep, his body shifted a little closer to my own. My eyelashes tickled his arm as I blinked, and the more I thought about the fact that I was leaning on my history teacher, the more I craved something more explicit than this.