Without The Words

Chapter 18

Every time I saw Mr. Lee, I speed-walked in the other direction. However, I couldn't do that during class, especially when he would occasionally glance at me and the ghost of a smile would form on his lips. It made me want him only a thousand times more.

It was three days after our encounter in the bathroom on the bus. We didn't have another meet until next week, so thankfully I had today and the weekend to sort out my thoughts. Due to the awfully rainy weather and constant flood warnings, our practices were delayed until next week. Starting then, we would go to practice no matter what the condition. The rain already stopped today, though, so I knew we were in the clear.

I noticed that September was slowly fading into October, the leaves falling off the trees and drying to their death, their broken bodies crumbling into specks. New leaves would grow in replace of old ones, their vibrant colors decorating the grounds and trees, some blowing around with the frequent gusts of wind.

I sat slouched in my seat, the sound of the wind from the open window lulling everybody to sleep. Even Mr. Lee looked especially tired. His eyes were a dull blue, which was unusual for the usual liveliness. Stubble dusted his chin and his brown curls atop his head were tousled. Oddly enough, he looked rather mesmeric.

Him and I had been awfully uncoordinated. I was more nervous than usual when I locked eyes with him. He would drain me of my sanity the second his eyes would swerve to mine, daring me to spark up a conversation. But yet, he hadn't said a word to me.

Our situation in the bathroom had somehow changed both of us. For me, our connection felt more strong; so strong that I was afraid to look at him, deep in fear that his sinfully astounding looks would cause me to get swallowed by an anxiety attack. Every time he saw me, though, he would look for only ten seconds and then turn away as if he hadn't done it.

I haven't spent my free periods sleeping in his classroom. I spent them sitting uncomfortably straight on the gym bleachers, which usually resulted in an aching back and judgmental glares. I was far too neurotic to be alone with him, but at the same time I wanted to more than anything. However, today I decided to give it another chance.

When class ended and lunch breezed by, a granola bar the only thing in my stomach, I dismissed myself from the table by pushing out my chair and grabbing my belongings.

"Where are you going?" Vera asked as she shoved a potato chip in her mouth with one hand and held her phone in the other.

Mr. Garcia, I wrote distractedly and quickly showed it to her. It was a lie, but I would probably visit him later anyways. I needed to talk to him.

"Alright. See you," she said, waving her hand with a smattering of chips nestled in her palm. Her words came out as "alwight, hee hoo" instead because she couldn't seem to stop refilling her mouth with the potato chips. She opened her mouth and showed me her mushed up food resting on her tongue. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and flipped her off playfully, in which she happily returned. For a girl as beautiful as her, she could sure be disgusting.

When I left the table, I heard someone sit down next to her and jump right into a conversation. Her popularity never failed to bewilder me.

I made my way to the third floor and stood in front of Mr. Lee's classroom door. On the rectangular glass window on the classroom door, a blue post-it note was stuck to it with tiny script hand-writing. I moved closer to examine it.

Students,
Out to buy lunch, be back in 20 minutes. Do not go in without my permission or you will receive a detention slip.
-Mr. Lee

It seemed reasonable that he would leave a note, since I've witnessed students going in classrooms without the teacher present, only to mess up their belongings or take back a phone that got taken away, probably for misbehaving. It didn't seem like Mr. Lee left his classroom often, either. The only times he's not in there from what I see is in the morning before any classes start or occasionally during the two free periods after lunch.