5SOS SMUT

STRIP FOR ME (C.H)

If there was one thing you hated most about having a male stripper as a roommate, it was having a male stripper as a roommate. It was especially mortifying the morning after having him show up in a cop uniform at your best friend’s bachelorette party. You’d accepted the whole stripper thing to begin with - the price for rent he was offering was too good to pass up, and who was to judge anyway? But you hadn’t been expecting it. You hadn’t been expecting your roommate to strip in front of your best friend after notifying her of her rights and letting her know that a gun wasn’t the only weapon of choice in his pants.

Now, it was awkward. Not for him, of course. Calum was perfectly comfortable; in fact, he hadn’t even seemed to be fazed when he saw you sitting wide-eyed in the corner of the hotel room. He’d just smirked, and turned his attention to the bride-to-be. For that, at least, you were grateful.

But you’d hoped for a little bit of decency when you woke up the next morning and trudged downstairs to make coffee and then drag yourself to your friend’s house to get ready for the wedding. Instead, you found Calum in front of the stove, whistling to himself in nothing but a pair of tight black boxers.

You made a noise at the back of your throat that sounded somewhere in between disgust and desire. “Could you put on a little more clothes? You don’t live here alone, you know,” you grumbled, shuffling to the pot of coffee already steaming on the counter.

Calum threw a smirk over his shoulder. “I do know, coincidentally.”

You glared at him as you maneuvered around him to grab the milk from the fridge.

"You’re chipper this morning," he commented casually, tousled dark hair nearly falling into his eyes before he shook the strands away.

"You’re unbelievable," you threw back.

Silent, Calum let his brown eyes, lightened to a honey gold in the glare of the fresh sunlight filtering through the windows, trail slowly over your body. Suddenly self conscious of the dismal state of your appearance - oversized boxer shorts rolled up, a stained camisole, and a flimsy bathrobe that Calum always made fun of you for wearing due to the faded yellow ducks printed all over the damn thing - you coughed. His eyes snapped to your face, a smile forming on his lips again.

"Are you embarrassed about last night?" he asked, turning back to his eggs and bacon.

"Are you?" you retorted, unwilling to answer his question.

"It’s my job, babe. You run into people you know when you’re on the job," he said casually, reaching into the cabinet to get two plates. He put half the eggs and bacon on one, half on the other, and then handed you one.

You took it with an incredulous expression on your face. “How many people do you run into on a normal basis?!”

He shrugged. “A few here and there.” His thick eyebrows wiggled up and down like caterpillars. “People are needy.”

Your eyes left his and flickered down to the food on your plate. “Whatever.”

Calum stabbed some eggs onto his fork and stuck it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully while you stared, unwittingly, at his bare chest. “You think Lily will think it’s weird if the stripper she had at her bachelorette party showed up at her wedding as her maid of honor’s date?” he asked, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Your mouth dropped open, unattractively displaying the food you hadn’t yet swallowed. “Um, yes? And who says I don’t already have a date? It’s the day of the wedding!”

Calum lifted an eyebrow. “Do you have a date?”

You frowned at him. “Well, no.”

He grinned, picking up his somehow already empty plate and standing up. “Lucky guess then.”