𝓱𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓮𝓷 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓽𝔂

lecture nine

accepting unproductive times
focus: selfcare

this is actually something i still need to learn.
i am writing these lines because i feel very unproductive regarding my personal life these days.
i have so much to do with homeschooling that i do not feel productive regarding my personal life.

video calls, homework, long term tasks and i am actually supposed to learn for my finals. it is pretty exhausting to sit all day long on your chair looking into your laptop. you are not moving much. you just sit there. your head hurts. your eyes burn. and you feel pretty exhausted. crazy.

the point i want to make is that i do not have time for painting, drawing and all the things i want to do.
i am someone, who always has check lists with stuff i wanna do. the problem is that i put myself under pressure to do everything as fast as possible like i am running out of time.
but i have to accept that school is more important right now than doing other stuff. do not get me wrong! your mental//physical health is the most important thing.
but in my case i have to accept that i need my time for school. i need my time to prepare for my finals. this will be hard. but who said life would be easy? we need challenges. we need aims we wanna achieve. and my next aim is my gradiuation from school right now. an aim i am working on for almost twelve years now. and this aim is so important for my future.

remember that times will come, where you have to focus on something else. but do not forget to take care of yourself!
what we need to learn is to find the golden middle.
buddha already said that.
and i think his quote can be interpreted in many directions.
so one could be that we have to find a way that keeps our happiness but still does not neglect our place in society, which plays an important role for our life.

how can we find this golden middle?
well, what we need is a good balance.
my dissatisfaction actually shows that my balance seems to be weak. what i need to do is taking my own pressure away. i still have time to do the things i love to do sometime else. i do not need to get everything done by tomorrow. i mean i still need aims, dreams and stuff to do in the future, huh?
moreover, i need to create a better balance between school and private stuff. something i am struggling with for a while now. because of homeschooling it may be even worse because all i do is moving from my bed to my desk from there to the bath or kitchen and back. after several video calls i continue to finish my homework and other tasks for school. i did not even managed to start learning for my finals because i have to finish other stuff for school first.
i need to create limits.
meditations, yoga, mindfulness, gratitude and awareness* are things i already know about.
it is hard to put these things in your daily life.
it takes a lot of effort to actually integrate these aspects in your daily routine.

let's try to be more mindful together:)
let's try to create better limits between school//work and our private life.
tell me about your plans you wanna do:)

as you can see i still need to grow too.
growing is a process, which never ends. this lecture is more like a self reflection because i wrote about a topic, which still bothers me extremely. do you like these kind of texts?
or do you prefer my usual lectures?
please let me know:)

thank you for reading.

-lex

* meditations, yoga, mindfulness, gratitude and awareness are kind of assistants, which are able to help you coming back to yourself. your true self.
these assistants can help you to relax, to take a break from your life. you may need some time to become comfortable with meditating and practicing yoga. give yourself time and it will flow by itself:)