More Than I Thought

18

Russ and Sybil had volunteered to lead Rommie to us. We all waited with bated breath to see our missing sister. Her arrival was as happy as it was painful. She was a husk of her former self.

She stood outside the cabin facing away just as if she were admiring the view. "What did you have?" She asked not turning to face me.

"A boy."

"Healthy?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" If only we had searched longer started sooner. What had happened to my rock, what happened to my strong iron cored sister? Why did she not turn and face me?

"For everything, losing Nick, not coming back, failing my mission, for making you worry." Tears choked her voice and flowed freely down her face. Where was the woman that challenged me who never quit? "I caused you pain and I"

I rushed to her side, slamming into her we held each other and cried for all that was and what would never be. I knew at that moment she would never know her namesake, that our children would never play across this mountain, that this was the last time I would hold my dear sister.

Mark and Craig joined us as did Jax. The sight of him sent her off in tears again, her legs giving way. He rushed to her side.

"Alpha are you alright?"

"Thank the Goddess, God, and anyone else who listened to my prayers." She grabbed him in a hug that could only be described as life affirming.

"Uh, Rom you might want to let him go before Nan sees you. She's pretty jelly about her man." D Stands there, he is not the boy she left. He is feet taller and miles away in every aspect.

"Who poured the miracle grow on you?" His grin made her smile for the first time since she arrived.

"Want to come up? So much has changed." D asks as we begin to fill her in on what has gone on since she left. Her steps are small as if she can't believe she's really here. Looking around at the last of the fall garden as the kids play tag in between the cabins, that now dot the mountain side. I can feel her happiness, we had achieved what we feared that long ago day would never happen. We were alive, safe, and had rebuilt our world.

Stepping up onto the porch she stumbles. Catching herself, she sits down on the steps. "I hope you don't mind but I'd love to sit here on the steps and lookout on the view." She was doing a good job hiding her weakness but to those of us who knew her it was a shining red beacon. Jax on one side Craig on the other "hugged" her into the house. Anyone looking would only see her getting hugs between the two large males. But those who looked close could see the tension in her body and the lines of pain on her face. My heart was shattered to see her so frail.

Nick sat at the table, he hadn't wanted to overwhelm Rom so he held back. Red and Amelia were scared of their reception so they hid in the kitchen arguing over who was going to wash or dry the dishes. Nan followed Nick's lead as she continued to bake cookies with some of the younger kids.

"Nan do you?" I knew she was going to ask for forgiveness but there was nothing to forgive. I wish she believed that.

"It's about time you got home." Nan's hug almost broke Rom. "Where's my sugar?"

"It's Nick's turn to bring it home." Nick pulled her from Nan. She was asking for forgiveness for abandoning him. For not forcing him to stay home. He leans her against the table, letting her rest against it.

"Don't you ever think anything like that. If I hadn't gone I wouldn't have Connie." He reaches out and brings his mate to his side. "Connie, I want you to meet one of my best friends. The female who saved me when the earth tried it's best to kill me. Alpha Rommie."

The little wolf looked horrified at calling an Alpha Female, Rommie. "Connie I am so happy to meet you. I want you to know you got one fine male. He is loyal, trustworthy, and reliable. You are truly blessed." Rom bows to Connie, who blushes as if her face were on fire.

Her legs give out. She slams into the chair Mark had placed by her, guilt and grief hang heavy in the air. "I... I'm so...soooo sorry! If I hadn't" I no longer know who is apologizing to it's as if she has taken on all the wrongs of the world.

Amelia rushes around to her, "No you don't! You did right. He had been looking for a way to get rid of us for a long time. You were just the excuse he used. He's sick, I'm just sorry that you are tied to him."

Red joins her squatting down at Rom's side. "Listen to Ame. You have started a movement that will help our daughter be looked at as an equal. We can train her to be a warrior or Beta."

"Alpha, she is an Alpha. My heir."

They both stop, but she rattles on. "I need you to return with me. We don't have much time. In 2 days I have hundreds of unmated wolves coming from the surrounding packs for a Mate Meeting. We need them in and out before the snow falls. The pack is ready for winter but as you know there is alway stuff going on." She looks both of them in the eye, "I dying. As King Prick's skin side reawakens it is killing his wolf. My wolf is sharing her mate's burden. I share her's. But the toll of keeping him under is more than we can bear. The healer says 3 weeks or less." Red holds her hand, Amelia the other as they absorb the news. "I took over your house, couldn't stand to be in the packhouse. Bo's room is wonderful, it's a soft grey with butterflies of all colors flitting about the room. We have some really talented pack members." Rom rambles on as she speaks of all the things that have happened since she last saw Red and Amelia.

As if realising where she is stops, looking around she begins asking us about what we have done since we last saw her. No one talks about the trials, we need to see her smile, we need to know she was happy here.

All too soon it's time for Rom to leave. Before she can stand Red picks her up and Amelia throws a blanket over her. We all act as if she will be back but we know as does she that this is the last time.

That night we all gathered and told stories of Rommie and how we all met, how we ended up here, even those who didn't know her sat and listened to us interjecting here and there their own tales of friends lost.

All that winter I worried about Rommie, Mark pointed out that if I really wanted to know all I had to do was meditate on it. But I didn't, it was easier to ignore what my heart already knew. The first week of Spring word came up our mountain, Red was now acting Alpha, his daughter was in training. I shut down, pulled in and mourned. It made no sense, we had lost our first life so long ago, we had lost Rommie years ago. Yet knowing that she would never again walk through the cabin door or send me a message was devastating. Nan and Nell joined me in our bed, much to Mark's dismay. As well as the dismay of their mates. Nell had found her mate, in the middle of winter. Nick and Connie had the shifter kids out teaching them about winter survival. We had so many join us since taking in Morgana and the others, with each addition we had gained so much. That 's not to say we haven't had our misadventures. Not all who came knocking were seeking help or were honest, but by listening to our instincts and believing in each other we had held our home and protected those in it.

Today was not a day for tears but a day of celebration. Today we were joining the Mate Match at the Blue Lake Pack. In just a few years Jordan would be seeking his mate as would Payton and Leah, Nick and Connie's daughter and the other children of our community. This round Lenny would lead the squad for their first Mate Match. Nick told them not to get bummed out if they didn't find their mate but to enjoy the party and to use it as a networking adventure. Never can have enough friends.

Everyone whose going is packed, the sun has barely risen, everyone is super excited. Who knows what will come home with us, no goodbyes are said only see you laters. For family, never leave they only delay the reunion.