Joy

Part 17

Dylan's P.O.V.

Seeing Joyce just passing by, not looking at me is so hard... but I deserve it. She'll find someone better than me anyway.

Friday. I'm driving to Zach's friend's party- hoping Joyce won't be there. And even if she will, I'll just avoid her.

It's 1 a.m. and everyone's drunk. The music is loud and I'm on the edge of getting drunk- I still know what's happening, but some people are just a smudge of color. I'm sitting at the table with everyone around me talking and dancing.

Zach: You okay!?
Dylan: Yeah!
Zach: Common, you're just sitting there- staring at the blank! That's not good!

I laugh.

Dylan: Should I be like you!? Trying to walk straight!?
Zach: I'm not drunk!
Dylan: Let that chair go!

He let go of the back of the chair and almost falls on the floor.

Zach: Maybe I'm a little bit drunk!
Dylan: Yeah...
Zach: Damn, you have a company!

I look over my shoulder- Theresa.

Theresa: Hi guys!
Zach: Hi Trish! How are you!?
Theresa: Great! Where's your girlfriend!? Told her you're working late!?
Zach: She is over there!

We look behind Zach and see Maria- she's talking with some girls.

Theresa: Wow! She's hot!
Zach: I know!

Why am I even listening to them? I stand up- ready to go outside.

Theresa: And where are you going!?

Theresa is practically yelling in my ear- that's how close she is. I feel her hands on my chest. I just grin and the two of us are now walking upstairs.

While walking, just for a second, I see Joyce leaned on the wall. She looks at me, but Theresa pulls my hand and we're on the second floor. Everything to that moment felt like a smirch in front of my eyes. Only she is crystal clear- her green eyes reminding me this is so wrong. Despite I'm thinking about Joyce, Theresa and I are already in the room upstairs.

Joyce's P.O.V.

Joyce: I'm not going!
Martha: Yes, you are. Start getting ready right now.

I'm lying on the bed- not in a mood for anything except maybe sleeping.

Martha: Joyce. Enough of that self-pity! We're going to the party. Now get up and put a dress on.
Joyce: Okay, okay...

I get up and put on black jeans and a plain blue shirt.

Martha: Oh hell no. If not dress, then some nice shirt. Put that red one.

She looks over to the red shirt with open shoulders.

Joyce: No...
Martha: Common!

Maybe going out will be good for me. I put on a blue crop-top shirt from my closet.

Joyce: Better?
Martha: A little bit. Let's go!

It's 11 p.m. when we arrive at the house of Zach's friend or something... I don't even know who threw this party. I don't see Theresa nor Dylan.

Joyce: Where's Austin?
Martha: He's not here, why?
Joyce: I thought how I'll escape when you start talking to him.
Martha: Not a chance. Tonight, it's just you and me.
Joyce: Great...

I can't believe I'm here instead of reading something at home or sleeping. Alcohol is out of the way tonight- I don't wanna get drunk anymore. One time caused me enough problems. I'm talking with Martha pretty much all night. I have no idea what time it is, but I'm ready to go home. Martha and I are standing next to the doors- me persuading her to go.

Suddenly, I see Dylan going somewhere with Theresa in front of him. It doesn't take any serious knowledge to realize they're going upstairs. I'm looking at Dylan halfway up. Theresa smiles at me.

Martha: You okay?
Joyce: Yeah, I don't care what is he doing.
Martha: Common, let's go.
Joyce: In a moment.

I go inside the kitchen and find someone's cigarettes and a lighter at the table. The next thing I know, I'm standing behind the house- smoking. It reminds me of Zach's party- it was the first time Dylan and I talked. I have no idea where is Martha, but I just need to be alone. Coming here was the biggest mistake ever- I knew it.

The box of cigarettes is half empty and I don't even know when I smoked it. A feeling of smoke running through me and cold wind on my face is just perfect. While sitting on the ground, I heard someone coming toward me. Thinking it's Martha, I immediately say,

Joyce: I'm so sorry I left. We can go now.

I stand up and when I realize it's Dylan, not Martha coming, I start walking the other way- trying to get away from him and everything that happened the last month.

Dylan: Wait.

When he realized I don't have any intention to talk to him, he grabs my hand from behind and now I'm facing him.

Joyce: What do you want?

I not looking at him cause the only thing running through my head is him going upstairs with Theresa. And after everything, he still has the courage to talk to me.

Dylan's P.O.V.

I'm in the upstairs room with Theresa. Despite everything I drank, I can still think straight. And seeing Theresa is not what I want to see. Pictures of Emma crying flashes in front of my eyes. I always thought how pathetic she was while crying over me, but I was even worse. Looking for "power" in such a way was so stupid.

I remember Joy crying in her car- now I'm feeling like an idiot for doing that to her. Without even realizing it, I'm walking back downstairs. Theresa's yelling something, but I don't care. After a few minutes, I realize Joy already left.

I walk outside. Without realizing it, I'm behind the house. It remains me of Zach's party and everything that happened after it. Someone's silhouette is in front of me. The smoke from cigarettes is rising. I realize it's Joy. I remember us lying in that hotel- she seemed so happy.

Dylan: Just listen to me. I'm so sorry about everything...
Joyce: You should be.
Dylan: And I really am. But you have to know that Theresa was right. I am a control-freak. I like to control everything in my life. And I like it when girls cry over me- cause that makes me feel powerful.

She's just staring at me. I can't believe I'm telling her that. Everyone knows it, but I have never talked about it with someone.

Dylan: It made them look stupid and pathetic.
Joyce: So you did all of this just to feel better about yourself?
Dylan: In theory.

She sighs.

Dylan: I'm so sorry.