An Unfinished Book of Poem

Dreams of Mine

I once dreamed of being a doctor
Helping the people stuck in the walls of the hospital
Giving advices to the sick patients
I couldn't even consult myself if I'm okay

I once dreamed of being a teacher
Teaching the kids what I've learned
From the school I despised and loved
I hope they'd teach me also, how to endure the criticism

I once dreamed of being a cook
In a fine, fine diner
Serving people good food
They trusted their life with

I once dreamed of being an artist
Selling my canvas full of art
Art they didn't even understand
Hope they would, so they'd understand the pain of the art they bought

I once dreamed of being an engineer
Building the big dream houses
Of the sweet, beautiful couples
I hoped we'd have a nice house too

I once dreamed of being lawyer
Defending the innocent accused in the court
Helping them conquer the trial
I couldn't even defend myself from the trial I have in the home I grew up on

These dreams weren't actually mine
They were the dreams of the ones who loves me
If loving me was being manipulated
Then I'd hope they'd hate me

Still I'm grateful for what they've given
The criticism I'd receive every family gathering
The comparison to the successful cousins I do not even know
All the raved things they uttered against me and you

I'm really sorry, Mi Amor
I just couldn't take it anymore
You know that I loved you
From the start till the "udon" of time

All I wanted was to have a nice house
Near a beautiful blue lake
Peacefully enjoying the time
With you and the kids I bore

But now that I'm in a deep slumber
I hope that you'd understand
I'm tired of being cherished
I'm tired of being loved

November, 2020